Madelyn and I currently have something in common that’s affecting our vanity: we are bald.

Before I go out and redeem our frequent buyer card for Rogaine for Women and Babies, I should at least spare Madelyn’s ego and declare that she’s starting to grow her hair back. Me? Well, I’m losing it in volumes.

One of the best parts about being pregnant, other than wearing horizontal stripes with no penalties, is the luscious, thick, shiny hair that adorns the top of a woman who’s with child. I knew that this was one of the good side effects and it was definitely a silver lining as my feet developed ankle muffin tops and I made quarterly trips to the bathroom every hour thanks to the bladder compression. So yes, pregnancy came with its fair share of disturbing, annoying, and ugly symptoms, but at least I could rock the hair toss-toss.

And then I had a baby.

Within three months, my hair started to fall out. All those hormones and nutrients that were keeping my baby — and my hair! — alive were no longer working in my body and so now I continue to leave the shower with a hairy souvenir in my hands. It’s a little depressing. Ho hum. Time to start getting clever with hair dos and parts and products.

Madelyn, on the other hand, was born with a tuffet of hair that would have been soft and cushy for Little Miss Muffet. And just like me, around three months after she was born, her hair began to disappear. It wasn’t even really noticeably going anywhere. Just, one day, she woke up, and there was less hair. She doesn’t seem to be too concerned about it, but it’s probably because she can’t see the little bald spot in the back of her head. Grandpa Madelyn’s spot just started to sprout some new growth and the coverage is getting thicker everywhere.

I didn’t even notice this hairtastic change until I started flipping through photos over the past six months. Girlfriend looks like she was born wearing a toup! In fact, her hair was the first feature Dr. Fiiiine described when they were first able to see her during my surgery. I’d like to think that I’ve kissed it all off since then. But, I have a feeling we’ve both been a little hormonal which caused our hair loss: her puppy fur and my, well, my ol’ bitch coat.

With the promise of new hair coming true, I can’t wait to see her cute curls and clip in bows directly through her locks. Hopefully she won’t get too frustrated with me when I can’t do the trendy hairstyles on her before she goes to school every morning. I suppose I should learn to French braid now and keep practicing. I promise never to brush through her curls and create a frizzy hot mess (I’m looking at you, Mom.). I predict that 15 years from now, she’ll beg me to purchase a flat iron for her so she can straighten her naturally curly hair. And when she goes on a first date with a guy (if her father ever lets her out of her room), she’ll probably nervous-twirl her hair as she flirts (guilty).

Hair is such a huge part of a girl’s identity and I can’t wait to see what’s a-HEAD (snort!) as Madelyn’s new wisps begin to sprout through.

As for me, I guess the only way to get my hair back is to get pregnant again.

Hmmm… maybe I’ll just stick a hat on.