Every Halloween, we go trick-or-treating with friends and I do my best to throw a little festive, pumpkiny cheer around the house in order to honor my Pinterest board. But in all honesty, and I know it’s going to get me in trouble, I’m not the biggest fan of Halloween. It’s a lot of stress to decide who you’re going to go trick-or-treating with (it’s kind of like the big question of where will you be at midnight on New Year’s Eve; or where will you spend July 4th in order to enjoy prime fireworks viewing), and I am also kind of cheap and don’t love spending money on seasonal stuff that sits in a box for 11 months out of the year, and I’m also still a little PTSD-ish about the pressure to be a slutty noun during college Halloween. But when you have kids, Halloween gets reborn and Mom-o-ween unfolds.

I want Madelyn to have a pretty normal childhood and she’s a little behind in the Halloween department right now. At Jewish preschool, there are no Halloween festivities (pumpkins = Fall!). They get to don costumes for Purim, but not Halloween. I was secretly glad about this because Madelyn escaped that month-long buildup of anticipating October 31st. For her, Halloween was just a few hours before the start of November. For me, Halloween was easy.

But all I’ve been hearing about since Starbucks released their first PSL of the season is that “OMG Halloween is this mooooooonth!” and Madelyn keeps asking if it’s Halloween yet. Public elementary school is to thank for the constant talk of costumes and candy and decorations.

I had a pretty weak collection of Halloween decor — a few decorative pumpkins, a wreath, a witch that hangs from the bushes in the front of my house. My mom buys me scarecrows every year that Madelyn has affectionately called Mr. Corny. But I’ve kept it pretty light; more cutesy Halloween than blood-curdling screams scary Halloween.

Today Madelyn and I were walking through a parking lot for some errands and she saw the Halloween pop-up store that peppers the shopping centers where we live. She begged me to go in, but I hesitated because we had a to-do list to complete and this wasn’t on it. Also, Madelyn tends to be a delicate flower (read: wuss) and I knew there was no way in H E double hockey sticks that she’d enjoy the interior of the Halloween store.

The girl knows how to beg so I gave in and knew she’d want out of there the second she walked in. After all, right at the front of the store was a whole display of expensive animated figures that jump out and make noise or flash bloody machetes.

Well. Joke’s on me because Madelyn could not get enough of these new friends. Cloaked ghoul, zombie girl, giant hairy spider, werewolves with a fog machine — she. did. not. blink. She giggled and smiled and basically found her new Disneyland. It’s like I don’t even know my own spawn anymore.

She was unstumpable. Surely, she’d completely freak out at the bloody appendages hanging from chains?

No. She held them up and swung them around like a lasso. If anything, she thought it was kind of gross that there was fake blood on them, but the concept of a plastic foot made of raw details didn’t even faze her.

There was a section of skeletons whose bones looked pretty real. There were all different sizes and some even wore capes. They were hanging on a rack in a row. Among them was a scary-ass clown.

She laughed and pointed.

In the back was the equivalent of the XXX movies at the video store from the 90s. There were entire scenes of the scariest creatures I’ve ever seen inside dioramas with pretty gory details and if you push a button next to each scene, it lights up and makes loud shrieky noises. One of them had the unfortunate luck to be electrocuted with zap sounds and all.

I was absolutely sure Madelyn would lose her mind and need therapy after exploring this section despite my suggestion to walk a different way.

Instead, she gleefully pushed the buttons down the line of the display and frolicked through the cacophony of dioramas that were a heartbeat away from becoming real, live Charles Mansons. She was like Maria in the mountains in the opening scene of The Sound of Music. I tell you. I do not know where my daughter went this afternoon.

We explored the costume department with the kitschy crayons and slutty fairytale characters, and cheapened 1920s flappers. Then she found the political costumes where people can dress up like Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. They even had masked heads of donkeys and elephants, just to really camp up the joke that is this year’s election. Halloween is a scary holiday, but the real Halloween happens a week later when we all get to vote. Trick or treat? What will it be?

And after all this — after all the creepy, gruesome, horrific, and nail-bitingly scary things she saw and heard in the Halloween store today — Madelyn still insists on dressing up as Rapunzel. She may play a toughie on the outside, but deep down, she’s still a soft princess at heart.

It’s been about three weeks of kindergarten and so far, it gets a thumbs up. Everyone is happy and we are getting into the groove of the new schedule.

A week before school started, Madelyn got her placement for her class and she ended up in a K/1 split. I was pretty happy about it because I’d heard amazing things about the co-teachers who were doing the K/1 and I knew she could handle the challenges that come with being in a split class. As a teacher, I know that the split classes usually house kids who are independent workers and catch on quickly. I was in a K/1 when I was in kindergarten and I turned out OK. I was super excited for her to have that influence of the older kids while being surrounded by other kindergarteners who were just like her.

The same day we got the assignment, we also happened to meet her teachers. Madelyn was smitten. She thought they were so, so sweet and bright-eyed and I thought they were so, so creative and inspiring. We both walked off campus that day like we were walking on air. The first day of school could not come soon enough!

But two days after receiving our assignment, I received a call from the principal that a surge of kindergarteners had just registered and it was enough to make a whole new K class so the split dissolved, a new teacher was hired, and Madelyn would be in this just-created kindergarten class. My heart sank; everything I had wanted for her was busted and now we didn’t know this new teacher. The fear of the unknown was strong.

The first day of school was the first time we got to see her teacher, and Madelyn came home and reported that she was very nice. I didn’t get much else home for the first two weeks, so other than the hellos and goodbyes we exchanged at drop-off and pick-up, I didn’t have any interaction or information about the class. What mattered most, though, was that Madelyn was happy.

In the meantime, she was making friends and learning her way around a new environment. As a mom who was super involved at the preschool level, I knew all the kids and the teachers and everything that was going on in and out of the classroom. In elementary school, though, I had no idea what she was playing at recess or the order in which she was eating her lunch. I didn’t know the routines of the class or who her real friends were. This part has been the biggest adjustment for me. Also, Arielle comes to pick-up sometimes and she wants to walk around — everywhere! — and squeals in delight when she sees her big sister coming out of the gate. These are things she didn’t care about just a few months ago when we were doing the preschool circuit.

In the last week or so, I’ve gotten to know some of the other parents and everyone seems so nice. Madelyn talks about the same two girls from her class all the time, so I know she’s making friends. I am so happy for her because I really like these new friends and their moms a lot. Knowing that’s in place makes elementary school feel a lot less isolating and more like we are going through these experiences together.

Last week was Back to School Night and Bryan and I had a date night out to meet the teacher and learn more about the class. It couldn’t have come sooner! I was so excited to have my questions answered and learn a little bit more about how Madelyn spends her day.

I am glad to report that not only is the teacher so sweet, but she’s very cool and approachable and keeps it REAL — yet still very professional! — so she is right up my alley. Of course I am so glad that things worked out the way they did, and I know the days will just get even better and better as the class grows together. I signed up to volunteer in the class one day a week, and I can’t wait to see Madelyn and her friends in action.

And this should not be a shocker, but when I saw that the “Room Parent” duty was still blank on the teacher’s volunteer sheet, I couldn’t let it remain empty. So, I filled in a random person’s name. No, just kidding. I wrote my own. I am such a sucker.

Oh! And homework has started! The first two weeks that the homework folder came home, I thought it was pretty weak. But now I see that those two weeks were practice because THIS week, homework got real. I don’t even mean that in a bad way, but it’s totally digging into the curriculum now and it’s not just coloring stuff. Thankfully, Madelyn absolutely loves homework. I know her tune will change eventually, but for now, she wants to complete her entire week’s packet of work the first night she gets it. I have to pace her, otherwise she’ll finish it all in one night. Thankfully, nothing has been hard or new for her since she’s been reading and spelling for a while now, but she enjoys the process of thinking about the work and always wants to do a little extra. If only college scholarships were based on kindergarten work ethic and standards knowledge.

So at just a little under a month, I give kindergarten an A+. I was nervous for this adventure to start because leaving our preschool bubble was so bittersweet. It’s been a big change for me as a mom: out the door on time; productive mornings to run errands and prepare for the week; oh yeah and taking care of a toddler; working part time; doing homework in the afternoons while also thinking about dinner and what to make and did I go grocery shopping because I don’t have ingredients; getting both girls to bed with actual bedtimes; cleaning the house watching TV before bed. But now that we are feeling like a professional kindergarten family, things are great and becoming more and more comfortable. The schedule is falling into place. The routine is good for everyone. I’m sure I’ll have it all down pat just in time for Thanksgiving break when we have nine days off.

After a busy summer that started with preschool graduation, followed by three different summer camps, Madelyn began kindergarten at long last!

But let’s back up.

Preschool graduation was the sweetest. It was such an emotional day and a true icing on the cake to a fabulous preschool experience. I was so lucky to make some of my most favorite friends ever, and I was honored to have a part in helping create the graduation ceremony with some awesome moms. It was inspired by the movie, “Up” with the theme “Adventure awaits” and we decorated the day to feature colorful balloons.

Madelyn had been practicing all the graduation songs and the order of the ceremony for months and every night at dinner, we’d get a whole show. I knew the whole shebang from start to finish thanks to her sneak peeks, and if anyone was absent, I could’ve easily filled in because I was so well prepared by my little maestro. The irony, is that Little Miss Super Star totally and completely lost her mind when the actual ceremony started. I think the build-up of graduation and the realness of the emotions that preschool was ending hit our very … delicate… girl, and as soon as the processional began and alllllll the happy kids walked into the ceremony, cheerfully marching and singing, Madelyn covered her eyes and the waterworks almost caused a flood in the temple (#SaveTheTorahs). She stood up with her class with her head in her hands and that’s how she finished the song. Newsflash, girlfriend: That’s not how you’re going to get into “Hamilton.”

Eventually, with some water and a pep talk from her teacher, she got it together and was able to perform with the rest of her class, hand motions and all. Regular Madelyn was BACK! She finished strong and even collected her diploma.

And then when graduation was over, she ran toward us and celebrated with her bestie, Keith, as if she had just won a Tony for her performance. Did she forget Processsionalgeddon only 30 minutes before? Either way, we were super proud of her. Our graduate was sparkling the way she normally does, and she said it was the best day ever. She’s a good actress after all.

My Graduation Committee friends and I had so much fun decorating the room, that we also thought there needed to be a photo op! All the kids loved taking pictures and holding the graduation signs and the parents got in on the action too.

I’m so glad we captured some really fun pictures of Madelyn with her big smile on preschool graduation day!

One of the songs that Madelyn actually performed at graduation was a song called “Kindergarten Here We Come” and it did. Those lyrics don’t lie. Her first day of elementary school arrived and she yo-yoed between being super excited and super nervous. I was totally expecting a Processionalgeddon to make another appearance in the form of Drop Off-pocolypse based on her tenuous feelings about starting kindergarten.

It started to sink in hard core at the kindergarten orientation the week before school. It took place in the MPR/Cafeteria and I explained that this would be the room where she would come see shows, or assemblies, or receive an award. And without missing a beat, she asked, “And is this where we will come do Shabbat?” Crickets. So, yeah, I had to explain that there’s no Shabbat or any other Jewish holidays at elementary school and she wasn’t really OK with that.

Moving right along…

She continued to ebb and flow between nervous and excited. I did what any mom of a girl with fragile feelings would do: I took her shopping. We picked out a bunch of new outfits for school and one of them became her first-day ensemble. And then I showed her pictures of my first day of kindergarten. Her observations: “Mommy, your bow is very big.” “The teacher has white legs.” and “My hair looks better than yours.” All of these are mostly correct.

Last night, we made sure to start off on the right foot by implementing our bedtime routine that we failed at all summer. She’s just a night owl. But she’s also not a morning person (I have NO idea where she gets that from. Hum dee hum dee doo dee doo), and we knew she’d have such a hard time waking up if she didn’t have an early bedtime. We tried to implement it all summer, but things got in the way and we couldn’t be consistent. Last night, we meant business. We read a story about kindergarten and we went to sleep talking about kindergarten. She had to have nothing but pleasant kindergarten dreams to really get into her subconscious, right? Both kids were in bed by 7:45 and Bryan and I felt like we won parenting.

This morning, the first day of school, Madelyn woke up all on her own. That’s good because I had a really hard time getting up (see above re: non-morning people and how it’s a genetic disorder) but I blame that on the tossing and turning I did all night because apparently, it’s not just kids and teachers who are nervous for the first day of school!

Chipper and cheery, Madelyn completed her morning checklist that we started a few weeks back. She loves checking off her must-do items each morning that help her get focused and ready for the day. I recommend this method to parents everywhere, especially if you have a kid who dilly-dallies in the morning like mine.

She ate a sensible breakfast (TJ’s frozen waffle and yogurt. I ain’t no morning Martha) and we took our First Day Of School photos like all the other parents took while breaking the internet today. I made her a sign because I’m too cheap to buy one and I got a little emotional as I saw my baby all ready to go to kindergarten. Elementary school is no joke. This is like the start of it all and I had Danny Tanner moments of seeing my girl grow up before my eyes at this front door: smiling in braces; dangling car keys to her first wheels; with a date and corsage before prom; move out day for college. YOU GUYS! This is like the runaway train to all that stuff. We can’t get off! She just grows up and we have to be OK with that! This is insanity! Also, PS, I have no idea where Madelyn gets her dramatics.

She was excited to go, but then as we parked and started our walk to the gate, she got a little apprehensive. I know that it’s a sign of doom to come; Her voice begins to sound wiggly and she starts to question things.

We walked to her classroom and we had about ten minutes until the bell would ring. Kids were starting to gather. All of them were bouncing off the halls. Madelyn began to cling harder. It’s funny: most people see videos of Madelyn or observe her with her friends and think she’s a total ham. And 99% of the time, that’s the case. But when she’s uncomfortable or unsure, she shrinks. This was no different and Bryan and I exchanged looks of dread and embarrassment and pity for the likely fact that she was going to lose it when it was time to walk in.

The teacher opened the door and all the kids lined up to meet her and walk inside. Madelyn mentioned she was missing her preschool friends and we reassured her that they were missing her, too, and they were all starting new adventures also. She was glad to know that they weren’t all back at familiar preschool without her. Girlfriend has some serious FOMO like her mama. However, before we could really get a grip on the situation, her head went into her hands and her shoulder slumped over and it was like we were looking at that scared little girl at graduation who just couldn’t get it together. We were losing her! She was a goner! Houston! We have a problem! Bryan crouched down and shared some words of inspiration; then I took my turn. And in the knick of time, she swallowed her tears and fears, and as the second-to-last kiddo to get to the front of the line, the teacher welcomed her and ushered her to the carpet where all the other kids happily gathered and we shrugged. Parents aren’t allowed into the classroom at kindergarten drop-off, so our job was done. It was out of our control now.

The day went slow for us back at home. I was dying to know what was going on back at school. It’s not that I’m a helicopter mom; I’m just a very curious mom!

When it was finally time to pick her up a measly 5 hours later, she offered up a pretty good report. She mentioned she only cried twice during the day (only) and it was because she didn’t know where her teacher went during lunch (answer: to talk about all the students with all the other teachers) and she didn’t get a chance to go down the slide because the “Orange Vest People” (campus supervisors) said that recess was over.

I asked a million questions about the day, but it was like pulling teeth to get answers and even the best dentist in the world wouldn’t be able to get her to offer up some juicy details. From what I gathered, there was something about a scavenger hunt and she made two friends. She also said the bathrooms are clean but there are no toilet seat covers so she lined the seat with toilet paper. I’m glad to know that the life lessons I’ve taught her have traveled to school. But as far as a play-by-play of what kindergarten was like: nothin’. I think tomorrow I’m going to strap a GoPro to her head so I can see what goes on in kindergarten!

Despite the roller coaster of everyone’s emotions in the Friedman house, I am actually really excited and looking forward to these school years. Our school feels like a really nice and tight-knit community of families which isn’t dissimilar from our preschool experience. I can’t wait to watch her learn and explore both academically and socially, and I know this is just the beginning of truly amazing Madelyntastic things!

Our sweet, funny, smart, friendly, old-soul, musical, sarcastic, compassionate, and general mensch-ette of a first born daughter is five! That’s half a decade! That’s all the fingers on a hand. That’s, like, all of undergrad for an ASU alum. (sorry. Had to. Love all my Sun Devil friends.).

It’s crazy to think Madelyn Shana has been around for five years. On one hand, it seems like it’s been a blink and she went from birth to kindergartner. On the other hand, it seems like she’s always been here; that life before her was so distant and unimportant. I can barely remember being me before I was a mom. A few days ago, Madelyn asked me about the happiest day of my life. I didn’t hesitate to tell her that it was the day she was born.

I always get emotional on my kids’ birthdays, and I’m a stickler for keeping our traditions (like going out to dinner on the birthday even like we did in 2013 and in 2014 and other years that didn’t get documented — for shame!) This fifth birthday was no different because all remnants of baby and toddler are now completely absent, and Madelyn is all… kid!

Since before she was born, it was determined that Madelyn would have to be a fan of the Dodgers in order to become a welcome family member. Thankfully, she obliged — whew! — and we could keep her as our own. She’s grown up seeing many games at Dodger Stadium thanks to the generosity of her Auntie Pattie and Uncle Barry and will never be able to sit anywhere else in the ballpark, since when you start in the Dugout Club, you’re ruined in the best way possible! Madelyn also loves to watch games on TV, and surrenders to the poetry of Mr. Vin Scully’s on-air talents. So it’s not exactly a shocker that she asked for a Dodgers-themed birthday to ring in the big 5.

Just a few days before her big party, the famous Auntie Pattie invited the family to come together to celebrate Madelyn’s birthday in the suite on the day she turned five!

The best part about suite nights at Dodger Stadium is watching all the cousins play together. Madelyn absolutely adores all her cousins because they are a fun and wild bunch and their mutual amounts of energy always makes us boring grown-ups double over in laughter.

It’s possible we didn’t do a lot of game watching since there was a lot of birthday celebrating going on, but the food and family ruled the night and that’s what mattered most. Also, the Dodgers did win, so that was a plus.

Still, we are oh-so grateful to these special people right here! Madelyn appreciates her time at Dodger Stadium and it’s all thanks to them!

Normally, the evening of August 9th is dinner out at Cheesecake Factory with both sets of grandparents, but we were more than happy to break the birthday tradition and spend the evening at the Dodger game. Madelyn loves being with her Grandma & Grandpa and Mimi & Poppa on her birthday.

Madelyn conked out in the car before we even reached the freeway. The fifth birthday was a homerun.

But, there were more innings to go. Her big party (you know, the one that I always say I’m not going to make) was a few days later and I spent the whole week on finishing touches because suicide by arts and crafts is the best way to go.

Sticking with the Dodgers theme of the week, we had lots of fun making this party Dodgerfied. From the walk up to the front door to the food names to the activities, it was Dodgertastic and Madelyn loved it!

It was the first party in a few years that I didn’t hire a company or activity for entertainment, but now that the kids are older and not such social misfits, I knew they’d still have fun hanging with friends, playing tee ball, and doing a craft. I set up a Make Your Own Pennant station where the kids could decorate a paper pennant with lots of doodads and markers. They turned out great and I think the kids really enjoyed it.

As always, birthday parties are a great time to be with our friends and family and we are always so glad they are there to celebrate good times (come on!).

When it was time to sing “Happy Birthday,” I brought out the cupcakes, candled up a special birthday cupcake for Madelyn, and we all enjoyed a big group number to wish her the best. When it was time to make a wish, the always-thoughtful Madelyn clammed up for a moment, unable to come up with a wish on the spot. She stresses under pressure and we were nanoseconds from tears due to those BIG feelings that come with turning five, but I was able to avoid drama by promising her that wishes count later on and she can sleep on it. Whew! So she blew out her candles — probably wishing for more time to make a wish — and we all celebrated with group sugar consumption. Birthdays are the best like that.

The party dwindled down, but Madelyn’s appetite for cupcakes did not. She had about four more before the night was over. I justified this parenting decision because I ordered 72 cupcakes. I couldn’t let the 40 uneaten cupcakes go to waste, so I decided they were health food for my growing daughter. Muffins, really. With sweet cream on top. Basically, breakfast, right?

And because I like to fatten everyone up (#jewishmother), I sent everyone home with iced baseball heart cookies that I made (#newhobby). You’re welcome, parents, for the sugar at 7 p.m.

The party was a World Series winner, and my lil slugger was more than happy. We did our job. Madelyn had a very, very happy fifth birthday.

Bryan created an amazing video for Madelyn’s 5th birthday that documents her life as a Dodger fan! He’s too talented. He whipped this up in a week, and I am in awe. This looped at the party and I can’t stop watching it still!

Madelyn is halfway through her senior year of preschool and she’s loving it. We are also loving the experience and watching her grow and blossom is so cool. I have no doubt that she’ll be more than kindergarten-ready, and while I’m excited to see her world get bigger in kindergarten, I want to squish her and pin her down to her preschool cubby so that she’ll stay little forever. That perfect little preschool bubble is just as comfortable for parents!

She’s in a pretty large class with other 4-year-olds and has two phenomenal teachers. As far as I’m concerned, they should both win Nobel Peace Prizes for the amount of content they seem to flood into the kids’ heads, all with such patience, enthusiasm, and warmth.

Madelyn went into her class this year unable to write her name, and now she’s writing it — both ways: Maddie and Madelyn — all over the place like its the newest trend in graffiti art. She already knew her letters and sounds, but now she’s starting to blend them and doing some basic reading. Kah-psshhhhh. There goes my mind. It’s blown.

My favorite thing about Madelyn in school this year is that she comes home and gives us a full report of who ate with who, a list of the naughty kids, the flavors of sand cakes she made in the sandbox, and a dinnertime recital of the songs that she’s learning from her teachers.

Tonight at the dinner table, she randomly started telling us a story that she clearly learned at school. We were wrapping things up and about to start the dishes when she broke out into this tale.

“There was a king. An old, old king from a long time ago.”

I assumed right away that she was telling us a story about a Jewish holiday and I immediately went into my mental calendar to think about this time of year and which holiday involves a king from a long time ago. Clearly, I failed Sunday school because I could not come up with it. So I asked her to elaborate. What did this king do? I assumed he would either save the slaves or enslave them. That’s usually how the story of our people go. And then we eat a deli platter.

“The old king said people are different. And then he yelled at the people about what he believed.”

Bryan and I squinted at each other. I think we were about to go with Pharaoh from the Passover story… In January. Weird, but whatever.

Madelyn saw we weren’t really getting it. She sighed. Rolled her eyes. And tried again.

“The old king! He was old. From a long, long time ago. And he told everyone they should go to school. He yelled at everyone. With a microphone.”

King. School. Microphone. It’s January.

The lightbulb went off in my head, but Bryan still looked confused. I recapped her words and we both broke out into belly laughs.

I asked Madelyn, “Do you mean Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.?” And she said “YESSSSSSSSS” a la “DUHHHHHH” and then, with relief, she further explained that “Donner Tooth King” who’s “you know, a king but not REALLY a king” said that some people have dark skin and “some people, like me — I have pink beige-ish white-ish skin” and that “all the skins — dark, light, whatever — should go to school together. Except not for Princeton because he has fur, not skin.”

She asked to see some photos of MLK and I showed her all the images that Google returned. She also had something to say as we scrolled through each photo.

“This is the Donner Tooth King. He’s so cute and handsome. What a nice guy.”


“This is when he was yelling at all the people because they weren’t listening to him. He was saying that everyone should go to school together. But it was loud because of the microphone.”

Her takeaway from what she learned at school is that everybody is the same — except for Princeton — and that it’s really silly that there were boys and girls who couldn’t go to school together. She pointed out that everyone in her own family has different color skin (“Daddy has darker skin than you.” — True) and that everyone should just listen to [mumble mumble] King. Though his title and two first names were a bit too much for her to say, his message was not lost on Madelyn, and I loved her retelling of the story and her innocence and simple understanding of a dream.