This past weekend, we celebrated Madelyn’s first birthday with a party. It wasn’t just any party. It was a luau!

The idea came about when we were in Hawaii earlier this year. We love indulging in Hawaiian BBQ pork sandwiches and shave ice. We love the music of the islands. We love the beauty of the water, trees, and flowers. We love the Hawaiian culture of family — ohana. So we decided to pay tribute to Madelyn’s first big vacation and recreate Hawaii as best we could… under a picnic gazebo in the middle of a park… in Simi Valley.

Okay, so that’s what you get for not having any boarding passes and a real plane to take us all to Hawaii, but when you’re stuck on the mainland, you make do! We tried to forget that it was the hottest day of the year and sweated our way through celebrating Madelyn, the one-year-old, with a little aloha spirit!

I have been planning this party since our Hawaii trip in April so, ya know, far too long for any first birthday party! At first it was just going to be Hawaiian food and some palm tree decor but then I went hog wild and short of pitting an actual hog underground like the authentic Hawaiians do, I managed to find myself paying for a Hawaiian food truck and a shave ice hut, creating tropical fruit skewers, and hanging decorations all over the place. I had a pretty clear vision and Bryan, Aunties Lisa and Alison, and Uncles Kevin and Michael did a great job helping make it all come together early in the morning before the party started.

Meanwhile, back at home, Madelyn took her morning nap, so after we were finished setting up the park, I scurried home to beautify, and the guest of honor woke up just in time! I got her dressed and ready and rolled her into her party as her friends and family started to arrive.

Madelyn warms up to the party with milk and Mimi.

Arriving at 9:30 a.m. with coffees in hand, Auntie Lisa and Uncle Kevin are expert party planner associates!

My parents leid each other. Sorry, is that awkward?

The shave ice hut was a hit! Since it was hotter than the lava from Kilauea Volcano, people fled to the icy, sugary oasis for relief. Best idea ever and the shave ice was almost as good and authentic as it is in Hawaii. I will seriously hire Hui Hui Shave Ice for every party I ever have in the future. Ever.

Gay pride at the shave ice hut!

Looks like strawberry or, you know, COLD SUGAR.

Hui Hui Shave Ice did a great set-up with a personalized surfboard menu! So cool!

The food truck, Kings Corner, served up teriyaki chicken sandwiches, Hawaiian BBQ pork sandwiches, sticky rice, and potato mac salad — all of our favorite food from the islands!

It was fun to socialize with so many important people who’ve known us since before we were parents and even new friends we’ve met since we’ve become parents!

Aunt Alison and Uncle Michael are preparing to pose for all the photos they’ll be taking at their wedding in two months! Even their eyebrows were made for each other.

Love my right hand gal, Lisa!

Madelyn and I with Auntie Phis Erin and Alison with soon-to-be Phi-in-law Jordan!

Madelyn gets love from the Trabold Sisters: Grandma Ellen and Great Aunt Wendy

Cat and Matt with their cute cabana boys enjoyed their afternoon at the luau!

Bryan and I always have fun with Brian and David!

Becky and I were pregnant together and now Baby Dia and Madelyn are going to be starring in shows together!

My best friend Stefanie and I used to celebrate our own birthdays together as kids — and now we celebrate our kids’ birthdays as adults! Holy full circle.

People joked with me that I was doing way too much for a one-year-old who would never even remember this party. And, well, that’s true, but the party was also for Bryan and me to celebrate one hard-but-amazing year as parents! Still, I made sure to have some fun for the kids.

When I think about Hawaii, I think about swimming and relaxing, but I didn’t want to worry about babies in a baby pool, so I threw together a ball pit in the baby pool and the kiddos seemed to enjoy it!!

Madelyn and Cousin Ocean play together in the ball pit! Ocean turns 1 in September and it’s so fun watching them grow up together.

“OH. EM. GEE. THIS IS SOOOO COOOOOOOOOL! I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE ITTTTTTT!”

Even Princeton wanted in on the fun.

And outside the ball pit, there was more fun to be had, like poking each others’ flowery dresses and headbands.

Brielle has her own kind of fun with the rainbow fruit skewers!

There was a cupcake fiasco at the beginning of the party because the hot Hawaiian Simi Valley sun was melting the pretty frosting! So we had to make a game time decision to schlep them back home 30 seconds away to keep them cool in the fridge. Can we please give some bonus points to a stressed out birthday mama for staying sane and not having a melt down over this… melt down?? Please and thank you.

Uncle Michael chauffeured them back in time to sing “Happy Birthday” and watch Madelyn’s big cake smash. And big it was! She went to town on the cake and ended up naked and wet when it was over. That’s the sign of a good party. Never too early to prepare for college nights out, I guess.

This beautiful cake is about to get very ugly.

Last family photo without frosting in our nooks and crannies.

Madelyn listens to the chorus of “Happy Birthday” that accompanies her cake.

Teaching Madelyn that yes, she does want what’s in front of her and to eat it Moroccan style.

Houston, we have contact.

Frosting on the face makes any baby 10x cuter.

Methinks she likes cake!

The sign of a good meal.

Madelyn wrapped up her party on a sugar high and lots of cuddles with her grandparents and Aunt Alison, her twin friends Evan and Lauren, and her great grandparents. Of course, a wardrobe change was necessary after her cake smash, so she got to don her backup dress, one of the many I bought “just in case” during the weeks leading up to the party.

Golly gee, Madelyn’s family sure does like her!

All 3 almost had the same birthday, but the twins came early and Madelyn came late!

Madelyn with her Bubbie and Gigi whose glasses she enjoys ripping off their faces. I need to teach Madelyn that elder abuse is wrong.

We survived the heat and packed up to head home. Even after three hours of partying in high temperatures, Madelyn hung out and opened presents like a true belle of the ball. She has so many new toys and treasures to enjoy as she heads into her second year. Now that Madelyn has all these new fancy presents, her parents need a new fancy house for which to store all this loot! Kids’ birthday parties should come with real estate agents for parents.

Madelyn is in a party-and-presents coma. What a lucky little girl!

Madelyn got a bath to de-frosting-ize her entire body and after a few sips of her bottle as I rocked her in the chair, she pushed away her milk and reached for her crib and was in dreamland in a matter of minutes. I hope she had the sweetest dreams of a happy day full of love and aloha.

Lately, I have felt exhausted and pulled in many different directions. I guess it’s the normal mom thing. Taking care of the household and chasing an 11-month old all day. Holding up commitments with friends and social dates. Putting a lot of energy into family events and members. Generally, I have been doing a lot of “being there” for others, and not really for myself. I don’t mind any of this — the schlepping, the late nights, the spending — but it is tiring. But I feel like lately, I’ve had a hard time saying “no,” when I probably should say “no.” What can I say? I don’t want to miss out on anything. I don’t want to let anyone down. I want to be everywhere and with everyone. It gets tiring, though, and I needed a day for myself to enjoy a new environment and calm surroundings. So my mom, Madelyn, and I headed up to Santa Barbara to enjoy a beautiful day at the zoo. I was still a mom. I was still schlepping. But for some reason, it felt liberating.

It was actually Madelyn’s second time at the zoo. Bryan and I took her in May with our friends Stefanie and Jeremy and their daughter, Brielle. We enjoyed introducing our daughters, 5 months apart, to the animals and spending time together as families.

We bought an annual pass because I knew it would be a perfect outing for when I needed a mini day-cation away. Earlier in the week when I made the plans to come back with my mom, I knew it would be the necessary refresher for our three generations to escape for the day.

And what’s better than escaping to the Savannah to see the giraffes, Asia to see the elephants, and the Congo to see the gorillas?

We rode the train around the zoo and learned about the behind-the-scenes of exhibits and animals. We enjoyed a yummy picnic lunch from my favorite sandwich shop down the street while overlooking the water to the left and the botanical gardens to the right. The weather was perfect. The air was clean. And there’s something special and empowering about being so close to some of nature’s greatest miracles. It’s humbling to be inches away from beautiful animals and watching them eat, interact, snooze, and play.

Madelyn was too young to understand all of this. But she was happy. And I hope her days at the zoo will leave her in awe of the animal kingdom and love them as much as I do when she’s old enough to appreciate these trips.

My days-old, lingering headache that’s gotten the best of me from recent stress didn’t feel so bad when I realized I got to escape the pile of laundry that waited at home, take a break from planning and organizing, and not feel like I had to say “yes.” Today, I didn’t spread myself too thin.

If you don’t blog about your birthday, then you don’t age, right? Right? No? Crap.

Well, I aged. Over a month ago. Oops. I guess I’m getting so old and decrepit that I forgot to blog about my 29th that was in June, which is so uncharacteristic of me because as a young thing, I was a girl who enjoyed birthdays! It’s not that I dreaded my birthday this year, but I really actually forgot about it! It was my first birthday as a mom, and June 7th was no different: my day was all about Madelyn, just as it is every other day of the year. I like it like that. But sweet Bryan swooped me up and surprised me for a great birthday getaway to Catalina! Apparently, going to Catalina on your birthday gets you a free boat ride and lots of birthday greetings from everyone you meet if you wear a snazzy birthday pin. It’s like Disneyland at the beach.

We meant to enjoy Madelyn’s first boat ride but we were all uncharacteristically sea sick. No tangible evidence of that — thank goodness! — but we were pretty green as we chopped out to the island from San Pedro. And there was no A/C. And Madelyn’s very dirty poopy diaper was wafting in our space as she sat on our laps. Happy birthday, Alison. Here’s some hot shit for you.

Ugh.

We finally arrived and it was so nice to be on land. Not just because of the rough waters, but because it was absolutely gorgeous! The sky was a clearn, clear blue, the air was warm and breezy, and the water sparkled like a glass case at Tiffany & Co. I love the postcard scene everywhere you look in Avalon. The houses on the hills and the beachy vendors on the waterfront. Everything is just pretty.

Our hotel room was beautiful! We didn’t know what to expect since there’s no Marriott on the island, so Bryan booked a really nice boutique hotel that was excellent! We freshened up in the room after our boat ride and walked around the beachfront. We made friends with lots of birds and a deer that was just chillin’ on a hill a few feet away from the street. Meanwhile, we scouted places to eat and finally settled on a yummy steakhouse with great views of the water.

Our food was good and Madelyn was a champ at the table. I love going to nice restaurans and walking to our table while receiving the hairy eyeball from strangers who look us up and down and roll their eyes about their assumed now-ruined dinner. And then those very same people end up making friends with Madelyn who entertains them with general cuteness. Mm hmm. That’s right, biatches.

It was still pretty early and it WAS my birthday so we decided to extend our evening with a walk around the “downtown” streets when we stumbled along the world’s smallest bowling alley. Madelyn had fallen asleep in her stroller and we were watching the two lanes of bowlers enjoying little balls the size of cantaloupes and pins the size of shampoo bottles. One lane had two sets of older couples enjoying some good clean fun. The other lane comprised of a young husband and wife about our age who were all tatted up and the sole reason the adjoining bar was in business. They were absolutely plastered and when they saw us watching the games, we were their new sober victims.

Victims of what? Drunk, sweaty hugs and high fives (I was dying), over sharing about their sex life, and a dozen slideshows on their iPhones of their two daughters at home and inevitable parenting advice. They insisted we bowl with them and it was actually really entertaining and bizarre at the same time, especially because we knew we’d never see them again. But after we’d heard them repeat the same stories at least four times, each time more difficult to understand the syllables, we decided we were done when the game was over. But then the husband heard it was my birthday and bought us all a round of Coors Light. This would have been a sweet deal if I was a college fraternity brother. But I am an old lady who doesn’t do beer. Our new BFFs shoved bottles in our faces, shouted “happy birthday” at extremely loud decibels, and Bryan and I telepathically communicated that we needed an out. At that moment, not only did Madelyn wake up crying in her stroller, but the bowling game broke and the manager said the game would have to be restarted. There was our cue! And no one can argue about a crying baby needing to go to sleep! We thanked our new friends, snuck out with our bottles, and trashed them in a sidewalk garbage can, laughing all the way back to the hotel.

The next morning, we woke up and had to take the first boat back for scheduling purposes. We took a bunch of pictures of the scenery from the docks as we waited for our boat. Thankfully, the way back was smooth and comfortable. It was a quick trip but just what we needed to celebrate my first birthday as a family of three.

Later that weekend, we enjoyed grown up time with our friends at Malibu Wines. We brought a picnic and enjoyed a day in the Santa Monica mountains with the sun shining over us and great conversation filling the day.

My birthday ended up being a special one with all of our fun events and the people we shared them with. Next year is the big 3-0 and I’ll have an almost 2-year-old to chase around to keep me young.

Growing up, Mother’s Day was not my favorite holiday. It probably had something to do with the fact that I wasn’t a mother. However, holidays in our house — unless they were for me — weren’t a huge deal. My parents didn’t require being showered in presents and specially planned events just because it was “X” Day. Mother’s Day used to be a day with obligatory mushy acts of affection, and since my mom never made a big deal of it, my dad and I didn’t either. Don’t get me wrong — we appreciated her all other days of the year anyway (though she probably didn’t always feel like we did), so Mother’s Day was just another Hallmark event.

After 28 years of saying “Happy Mother’s Day” to my mom and grandmas, I finally got to receive the sentiments and let me tell you, I am totally on board with Mother’s Day now! What a treat! I’ve loved being a mom for 279 days from the night Madelyn was born through May 13th, but I really loved being a mom on Mother’s Day! It really feels great to be appreciated and I didn’t have to wash one bottle that day! Score!

I woke up to cards from my favorite household loved ones. Interestingly, Princeton, Madelyn, and Bryan all have the same handwriting. Hmmm…

Hallmark owns my dining room table.

Good morning giggles with my love bug!

Princeton's card says "I RUFF YOU." I'm glad he and I have the same sense of humor.

Madelyn calls "Take backs!" on the card she got me! Rude!

Bryan also managed to surprise me with a gift. A lot of my mama friends were asking for diamonds. I like myself a carat or two as well, but Bryan also knows his wife well, and when mommy is stressed, everybody is stressed. So lucky me got a gift card to my favorite day spa! Facial, massage, and pedi here I come! Wheeee!!!!

Madelyn tries to torture me so she can steal my gift card. Who does this kid think she is?!

Smiling with my children, Baby Human and Baby Spa Gift Card.

It was nice to spend the morning with Madelyn and play together. I think she knew that Mother’s Day meant she had to spoil me; she was on perfect behavior, giggled like crazy, and went down for her nap like she was an Olympian napper with endorsements from Serta.

We knew we wanted to spend the chunk of the day with our own moms, too, so we planned to have everyone over at our community pool for lunch, chit-chat, and play time with everyone’s favorite baby. We exchanged cards and simple, kind gifts. And Madelyn gave her grandmas and her Gigi a card with handprints that she made in our Mommy & Me class. I can’t wait until she’s a little older and she comes home with handmade presents for me. I think I will wear them and hang them proudly!

Eating and talking. And probably both at the same time too.

Grandma holds up Maddie's prints -- almost as valuable as diamonds. Almost.

Madelyn the pop star riffs freestyle because that's just the kind of soul sista she is. Mmmmm hmmmmmmmmm

Mother's Day ROCKS! Next year, I'm totally buying my mom a private jet to Tahiti and getting Ryan Gosling to sign her bra.

Madelyn in a sea of her own DNA.

Madelyn flashes her gang signs in broad daylight for the camera.

Four generations, holy cow!

The original Mama Friedman with her two babies.

Don't worry, Ma. I totally get Mother's Day now. We are going big from now on!

It truly was a lovely day! Our time at the pool flew by, which is easy when you’re noshing on summer fruits and gushing over a baby. And to the HOA Gestapo who tried to tell us that pets are not allowed in the pool area, I say, “What pet?! It’s Mother’s Day and Princeton is my child!”

Before we knew what we were having — other than a, you know, baby — I thought “oh my goodness! What if I have to have a c-section (I did) and I have a hard time recovering (I did) and I have to plan a bris for a boy? (I didn’t.).” At around 20 weeks, when we saw the ultrasound that showcased a hamburger and not a hot dog, I admit I let out a sigh of relief that I would not have to have a mohel on standby or put in a deli platter order at Brent’s seven days after I/Dr. Fiiiiine delivered a baby. Instead, Bryan and I knew right away that we would love to honor our baby girl with a naming ceremony.

Shortly after, we joined a reform temple in town and fell in love with the musical influences that reminded us of our Sunday school experiences and my summers away at camp. It was important to us that we raise our kids with a Jewish identity. We are not planning to force feed the Torah down our kids’ throats, but we thought giving them the foundation and allowing them to choose how they celebrate would be a good idea, especially since we took it upon ourselves as young ones to bring our Jewish heritage to our lives. Of course it’s only fitting that the only two pre-teens I know who actually ASK their parents to go to Hebrew school would marry each other. That’s us!

So instead of going to sleep at 6:30 p.m., Madelyn got gussied up and we did our best to keep her awake and seemingly pleasant way past her bed time for her March 30th baby naming ceremony. It was a wonderful and special evening. Our closest family and friends schlepped and gathered on a Friday night for Shabbat services with the rest of the congregation. Midway through the service, Rabbi Riter called us to the bimah and blessed us as parents and blessed our daughter as a newcomer to the Jewish people. We then said some words about Madelyn and her namesake and shared why we adore her so and how her name has so much meaning.

Up on the bimah with Rabbi Riter and Cantor Shukiar. When I was younger, I thought the bimah was for performing tap dances.

Madelyn's thinking, "In 12.5 years, that Torah is ALLL MIIIINE."

Madelyn’s Hebrew name is Shana Meira (Shay-nuh May-eer-uh) which means Beautiful Light. The Meira is the feminine translation of Meir, which is Hebrew for the name Robert. Robert was Bryan’s maternal grandfather and the only grandfather he knew. He had a wonderful relationship with him that revolved around jokes, food, and their beloved boys in blue, the Dodgers. Bryan remembers enjoying the company of his grandpa Bobby for as long as he could remember, and continues to miss him since he passed away in 2005, shortly after Bryan and I met. I only got to meet Grandpa Bobby just once when we visited Bryan’s grandparents in Las Vegas a few months after we started dating. I, too, remember him as a very kind and warm person. I’m looking for pictures to share of our visit with them, but unfortunately, I don’t think I took any, which is a rare and bad move on my part.

Shana is also Madelyn’s middle name, but we incorporated it into her Hebrew name as well. The “S” in Shana is for my dad’s father, Sidney, who passed away when I was a senior in high school. It’s difficult to admit, but I realized in the past few years that I was starting to forget him. The many photos of us help to freeze him in time, but his voice, his funny antics — I know they happened — but they can’t really find a place in my current mind. That makes me mad because, really, at 17, I was old enough when he left us that I should have these memories going strong and I don’t, but it’s also somewhat comforting to know that his memory lives in Madelyn’s name. I do, remember, though, that my Poppa Sid and my Granny, who is still alive and going struh-ooooong, used to call me their Shana Maidela (Shay-nuh May-duh-luh) when I was little, which means “beautiful girl.” So now, Shana also describes Madelyn, and, oh look, Maidela kind of sounds like Madelyn. We didn’t really do this on purpose, but when Bryan and I were solidifying our daughter’s name and then her Hebrew name, we saw this link and knew it was meant to be, b’shert.

I love that two men, Sid and Bobby, who never knew each other or the fact that their granddaughter and grandson got married to each other, are linked in their great-granddaughter’s name and the legacy she’s beginning for her own future and the generations that come from it.

But then also the meaning of Shana Meira is so delightful. She’s our beautiful light, literally. Blame the mommy goggles, but this girl blows me away with her beautiful long eyelashes, her rosebud lips, her silky skin, her deep and cavernous eyes, her silly putty cheeks, and her delicate fingers that tug at my heart all day long. And she is the light of our lives. Bryan and I feel more in love than ever and we know it’s because of Madelyn and the light she brings to our marriage and our home. And when I think of light, I think of brightness, and anyone who ever meets and falls in love with Madelyn always comments on her bright eyes that are so aware and thirsty to see everything around her.

After the naming ceremony, Shabbat services finished up and a lovely oneg with refreshments and mingling followed. Whenever there are big parties for special occasions, it always seems impossible to really chat with everyone at length (ahem!wedding!ahem!) and I wish I could have slowed down the minutes of the evening so I could have spent more time with some of Madelyn’s biggest fans! I realized now that Bryan and I didn’t even get a family photo of us with our mini guest of honor. Re-do please?

Madelyn's cake!!!! that.she.can't.eat.

Madelyn yawns through the oneg. It may be all about her, but we're ignoring her needs! Oops.

Madelyn always loves hanging out with her Auntie Phis! Tonight: Naming Ceremony. In 18 years: Pinning Ceremony!

Uncle Brian holds Madelyn, who is hanging on for dear awake.

You know you're an aunt when: you hold your wailing niece and you still enjoy it.

A quick smile for Grandma and Mimi and then it's lights out, people!

By the late hour of the oneg, Madelyn was turning into our little baby zombie. She was just oh-so tired, but did a great job during the service. Perhaps it was the constant milk, Mum Mums, and walks around the sanctuary that helped keep her content.

It was special evening that we’ll always remember. We are so glad that we worked with our amazing Rabbi Riter and Cantor Shukiar to learn about how to choose a Hebrew name for our daughter that would provide depth and meaning for her parents and grandparents, salute her ancestors, and build a foundation for her future descendants.