Daddy’s Corner Archive

April 24, 2011

I Got A Feelin’

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner

Dear Baby Daughter,

It’s been nearly two months since your mommy first felt you kick and I rushed over to see if I could feel you too. Weeks have passed with so many nights of me sitting on the bed, watching TV while the palm of my hand is suctioned on to your mother’s ever-growing belly, waiting not so patiently to feel you squirming around. It was frustrating for both me and your mom that I hadn’t been able to feel you in there.

Well, today, I finally did! It was just one little bump on your mommy’s tummy, like a punch almost. You’re pretty strong! Anyway, it sure was nice to meet you finally…at least without the all the doctors and cameras around. Thanks for kicking so hard right where my hand was placed. The occasion felt very momentous, but I’m sure I’ll catch you plenty of more times swimming around in there over the next couple months. I can’t wait!

In the meantime, you should know we’ve been hard at work getting rid of all the clutter in the house to make room for you. Your room is starting to come along too! We don’t have much furniture, and we haven’t painted yet, but we’re adding some light and making room in your closet. We’ve already started a small library for you so we’ll have plenty of reading to do when you finally get here. Also, you already have the beginnings of what I think is a pretty cute wardrobe. Believe me, though, it’s only going to grow. Pretty soon you’ll have more clothes than you could ever even possibly wear — although I understand you might go through a few changes a day so it’s probably okay. I don’t really understand “girl clothes” but your mom pretty much breaks into tears whenever she sees your little outfits, so I think you’ll be well dressed.

I’m excited to meet you in person, but for now I’m definitely okay just feeling you dancing around. Feel you later!

Love,
Dad

Comments (1):
  1. Cathy
    4/24/2011 9:59 PM

    Awwwwww, so precious!!!

April 7, 2011

Breeding and Reading

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner

ALISON: You can't take anything seriously! You know, you didn't even read the baby books.

B: I didn't read the baby book! What's gonna happen? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book? That's right. The ancient Egyptians #@$%ing engraved What to Expect When You're Expecting on the pyramid walls! I forgot about that! Who gives a flying #@$% about the baby books?

ALISON: It just shows your lack of commitment...that you're not in this with me!

No, this isn’t a transcript of a conversation I had with Alison. It’s just one of my favorite scenes from the great Judd Apatow movie Knocked Up where Katherine Heigl’s Alison Scott and Seth Rogen’s Ben Stone are in a fight. knocked_up.jpgI remember seeing this movie and thinking, at the time, “He is so right. Who cares about some stupid baby books?!” Okay, so I was naive. (So was Ben, by the way, who later in the movie “matures” and does indeed read the books.)

Ever since we found out we were pregnant, we’ve been in complete information-overload mode. Alison, in particular, began consuming as much information as she possibly could even before conception. (There was a special trip to Barnes and Noble even then to purchase What to Expect BEFORE You’re Expecting.) Now, with What to Expect When You’re Expecting (the “Baby Bible” as I call it) a fixture on Alison’s nightstand along with multiple iPhone apps, thebump.com, and babycenter.com, there is definitely no shortage of content for us to consume in an attempt to prepare us for whatever the future holds.

I would say that both Alison and I are pretty much equally curious about all this stuff, so we are both willing to do plenty of research on a topic and read as much as we can find to educate ourselves. This is especially true because it seems like there is just so much to know and we were basically clueless before this experience started. When it comes to information consumption, there is one key difference between the two of us. I think the best way to explain it is this — Alison wants to know right now all the information she needs to cover the next 2-4 years of the child’s life; I’m interested mostly in what I need to get me through the next 2-4 weeks of time. Frankly, that’s about all I can really handle. But the good news is, as usual, we’ve balanced each other out pretty nicely.

Thankfully, Alison my wife isn’t nearly as demanding as Alison from Knocked Up, but the “Baby Bible” is always right by the bed if I’m interested in looking. Plus, like I said, there is plenty of knowledge to be had from online resources. Still, I’m happy to report I am indeed reading my own version of the “baby books” courtesy of a very thoughtful gift by my amazing wife. I’ve got two books by my bed and I really do love them both.

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My Boys Can Swim is a super easy read with a light and humorous tone. It’s very short, but it’s broken up by trimester and just does some general expectation-setting about what the mother is going through and what you should know. It’s entertaining and funny while still being helpful and informative. I’ve pretty much read the entire thing three times and I’ve enjoyed it a lot, especially when I’m itching for info but looking to lighten things up.

The Expectant Father on the other hand, is the “Baby Bible for Dads” in my opinion. It’s a fabulous resource and I can’t recommend it highly enough if you’re a dad-to-be. It’s broken up by month and in each section it gives you an overview of what the baby is going through, what the mom is going through (both physically and emotionally), and most importantly, what you (the dad) are probably feeling and thinking about. Then each chapter goes into some topic of fatherhood, and it’s honestly uncanny how many times the book has been absolutely dead on about what’s going on in my head during any given month. Trust me, it’s not random…it’s calculated. Things like financial stability, work-life balance, feeling the baby move, taking care of your wife…it somehow places the right topic in the right month to be in sync with my brain (and many dads-to-be brains I’m sure). I try to stay about a month or two ahead of real-time (I’ve read through half of month seven) and I typically read each chapter two or three times (repeating it once every couple of weeks of the month) which, like I said, is about as much as my information tank can hold at a time.

Anyway, I wanted to share what I’ve been reading because dads don’t have it as easy when it comes to “baby books.” What to Expect When You’re Expecting can be a bit much at times, and most of the web sites have a grand total of four or five pages dedicated to expecting dads…and they get old fast. So these are my recommendations. Happy reading!

March 19, 2011

Baseball Baby

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner

It’s true you can’t force your kids into liking something if they don’t like it. Let them try it once and see if it sticks…then move on to the next thing. Alison didn’t want to play soccer, so after a year of torture, her parents didn’t force her to keep playing. Me? I wasn’t so into water polo — treading water for that long just wasn’t my thing. Of course it’s not just sports I know, but whatever it is, we’ll just have to wait and see what exactly our daughter’s “thing” is. One thing’s for sure though. It’s a pretty safe bet that she will be a Dodger fan.

I know, I know. I just finished saying we can’t push things onto our kids. And that’s true. But just based on genetics alone, I’m pretty sure Dodger fandom will be in running through this kid’s veins. Like Tommy Lasorda says — she’ll “bleed Dodger Blue!” When I was little, I don’t really think my family pushed me to be a Dodger fan as much as I really just was one…for as long as I can remember. Same for Alison. Sports team loyalty is just one of those things that just gets passed down from generation to generation.

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Of course, with a boy, I’d probably be excited to share baseball with him in a different way. We’d “have a catch” in our front yard and he’d probably play little league (or teeball at least until his genes catch up with him and he realizes he’s probably not destined for the majors). But of course with a little girl, that’s less likely — and with our little girl it’s extremely unlikely. No offense to us or our families, but we are not exactly known for our athletic prowess. Still, I can share with her what is perhaps an even greater love for me — watching baseball.

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I can’t even describe how excited I am to take my little girl to her first Dodger game and share some peanuts and a chocolate malt with her. Alison will neurotically apply sunscreen and adjust her hat and I will explain to her what’s happening when she asks what’s going on, just as simply as my dad and grandpa explained it to me. (Of course she’ll be taught very early on that baseball games are not for beach ball throwing or chitchatting about things unrelated to the game that’s going on…this will be her first important life lesson.) Thankfully, Alison and I grew up having shared the Dodger Stadium experience. Probably our very first picture as a couple was at Chavez Ravine, so we can pass on the tradition together…(if not the season tickets).

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And trust me, being a Dodger fan will not be the only thing we pass down to our children. I mean, seriously, who are we kidding? They’re sure to inherit our love of theatre as well — and occasionally our love of theatre and baseball will even collide, like they have before:

Comments (4):
  1. ashleigh
    3/20/2011 1:24 PM

    ali!! i’m always amazed at the similarities i find out about our lives via the interwebs! my hubby is a big dodgers fan too and also was a big commentor Dodgers Thoughts but recently is on True Blue LA more. I wonder if Bryan and him talk online w/o knowing it! His handle is mintxcore on both boards.

  2. Grandma Ellen
    3/20/2011 8:58 AM

    Watch her be a jock like her Auntie Alison! She’ll show you… hehehe Many future Dodger games are in her future.

  3. Marilyn Hollander
    3/19/2011 11:57 PM

    Danny went to his first Dodger game at the tender age of 1 month. We have several photos of him in his Steve Garvey(#6) jersey. (Aunt Pat was a huge Garvey fan.) He’s been a Dodger fan ever since, and played baseball through Pony and High School Varsity. Conversely, we took Andrew to his first game at about 1-1/2 or 2 months. He became a fan of the food. Oh well, you just never know. Erin actually played T-ball for an entire season. She REALLY wanted that trophy! In addition to the trophy she amassed quite a collection of rocks from the outfield every week. She was so tiny that her coach insisted on pitching to her, instead of the other team’s pitcher, so she wouldn’t get hurt. That season was an absolute hoot for me. Ah, the memories you will make and treasure!

  4. Mom/ Sharon/G'ma to be
    3/19/2011 10:03 PM

    Bryan,
    Don’t despair….I’m sure that you will enjoy many occasions of tossing the ball around in the front yard with your daughter. Alison did that lots of times with Stuart. Not only tossing/throwing/catching the ball, but they even did BP. When they shagged balls, often times it was a whiffle ball and plastic bat, but to the two of them it was daddy playing baseball with his little girl. Just as you will.

March 9, 2011

Papa Paparazzi

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner

As a father-to-be, I know it’s natural to feel the pressures of all of my current and upcoming responsibilities. The pressure of settling on a name that the child will be called for the rest of its life is like none that I’ve felt before. (Yes, we think we have an idea for the name. No, we won’t be revealing it — at least not until we reveal the child into world.) Plus, the stereotypical father-worrying-about-finances stuff has me busy opening 529 and savings accounts and investing in all kinds of stocks, funds — not to mention trying to pay more attention in my MBA finance classes. And don’t forget all the usual daddy-version-of-nesting stuff that is nagging at me earlier than it should be: child-safety locks, home improvements, the baby’s room, etc. Of course there’s also a little bit of “Will I be a good father?” stuff rolling around in my head (even though I’m pretty sure I will be).

Thankfully, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about this stuff and it’s all normal, which makes me feel good I guess. Except the one thing I haven’t read much about may be the one thing that’s been nagging at me the most lately. As the father, I am responsible for creating and managing all the multimedia documenting this child’s life. (That is, at least until she gets a cell phone of her own and starts posting inappropriate pictures on the 2023 version of Facebook.) This is a tremendous responsibility, and although I consider myself to be both creative and [somewhat] artistically talented, this task overwhelms me.

Even though there is plenty of pressure that comes along with being the Co-Producer of this child’s life, being the Executive Producer/Director of the Baby Friedman: The Early Years series of movies and slideshows comes with its own set of challenges. In this day and age, there is so much more technology to contend with than my dad had to. I’ll admit, though, in some ways my dad had it hard too. My life as a child, along with my sister’s, was primarily documented by an old school (35mm?) camera (organized by my mom in photo albums) and also an enormous video camera that recorded low quality video onto VHS tapes. The first video camera my dad had even required separate lights and microphones to be set up. So it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

Now, though, with improvements in the various media, there also come quite a bit higher expectations. There’s HD video, iPhoto, Final Cut, YouTube, Facebook… Will I be able to keep up with the emerging technologies that come along with documenting every moment of a child’s life? It’s not just all about capturing the first steps anymore. I’ve got to produce some seriously creative stuff. I know the subject will be a good one (any child of Alison’s and mine has got to be a pretty big ham). But what if I miss a great moment? I mean I will literally have a still camera and an HD video camera with me at all times (namely the iPhone), so there’s no excuses for not capturing even a second of cuteness.

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These higher expectations aren’t just society’s — they’re my own. Up until now, I’ve pretty much been content capturing my life (and Alison’s and Princeton’s) using whatever light-capturing device is built into my phone. Sure, we’ve got a point-and-shoot Canon Digital Elph and a little handheld camcorder for some lengthier video-worthy moments. But that’s just not enough for me anymore. I’ve got the next four months or so to become the next coming of Anne Geddes…or at least as good as some of my photographer friends.

That means it’s time to go buy a new camera. Nothing less than a DSLR. And that’s not like picking out whether I want the 32GB or 64GB version of the iPad2. It’s a major decision that I’m not all that well qualified to make. (I’m leaning towards the Canon T2i, in case you have some opinions.) Plus, I will not even know how to use 95% of the camera’s potential at the moment I purchase it. Not to mention my Photoshop skills will have to kick into a higher gear, from somewhere around “I can really only slice up another designer’s images to make a web page” all the way to “I can make my own photographs look high quality and professional.” That’s a big jump, right? On top of all of this, I’ll also have to turn these pictures into brilliant slideshows and add witty captions to the digital albums. Oh, and I can hardly keep iPhoto organized as it is. The amount of pictures is about to increase tenfold. I’m stressing out just thinking about all of this!

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On top of all my still-image worries, I also keep asking myself, “Will my iPhone video camera be enough, or do I need to by a Flip HD Camera or something?” Also, “Will short clips on YouTube satisfy me, or will I need to use the appropriate level of Final Cut Pro utilities to make incredibly compelling cinematic motion pictures starring my family?” These are important questions!

I know everything will be just fine once my fatherly instincts kick in. Still, while Alison spends her days and nights feeling kicking while thinking of little baby clothes and all things pink, these are the thoughts that stir around in my head. I can’t wait to annoy the crap out of this kid as I chronicle every moment of her life. I’m sure she’ll thank me eventually.

Comments (5):
  1. Ryan
    3/9/2011 8:12 PM

    Having cameras and camcorders on-hand at all times does not guarantee you’ll catch everything you will want to, so I wouldn’t worry too much on what type of hardware to get. Many of the cutest moments worth capturing don’t last long enough to wait for the devices to turn on or the software to load up. So unless you leave them on and within arms reach 24/7, you’ll likely capture only the bigger longer-lasting moments, and you will have to rely on your memories for the smaller things. Trying to capture everything is hard work.

  2. Mom/ Sharon/G'ma to be
    3/9/2011 6:49 PM

    Bryan,
    Don’t beat yourself up on your multimedia capabilities. Many of us have seen your talent with that stuff and you’ve definitely got what it takes!! Whether you’re using the camera on your phone or some top of the line DSLR, I know the images will be outstanding.
    And a part of me is also thinking that perhaps you (my tech-nerd SIL, which I say with endearment) probably can’t wait to have a little-bundle-of-joy-of-an-excuse to be able to purchase all that fun new technology. ;-D

  3. mindy
    3/9/2011 5:52 PM

    scratch that, chris says get the new t3i, a few cool new features and a tiny price difference.

  4. mindy
    3/9/2011 5:50 PM

    chris has the t2i and loves it. he is setting up shop as a budding photographer with it. it’s a great choice!

  5. Grandma Ellen
    3/9/2011 4:49 PM

    You are hilarious! My money is on you to do an outstanding job. Do not fret, my son…..it’ll be a lot of fun (and probably easy) for you. Of course you will be a great father. You had an amazing role model!

February 3, 2011

Gearing Up

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner

Just this last weekend we went out to lunch with some friends who have a ten month old. We love hanging out with them and most importantly we love talking baby-stuff with them. In fact, they have offered us some really great advice already that I’ve added to my baby information queue. What was interesting about this outing, though, was that we ended up sitting next to another couple who had a young child also. Of course we ended up getting into quite a conversation with them, and it turns out that they are the proud owners of every single possible piece of baby gear known to man. The most obvious piece (and the conversation starter for obvious reasons) was the chair that their kid was sitting in — Phil and Ted’s MeToo Chair.

“Quite a handy little item,” I thought, tucking away this piece of information for later use. I was happy to stop the conversation right there. I got my tidbit, now let me enjoy my lunch. But no, these baby accessory enthusiasts had much, much more to offer…so much more than our group of four adults, one baby, and two dogs would ever want to know.

Look. I’m all for some friendly stranger-to-stranger baby chat in a restaurant. This experience, however, was not a simple chat. It was a full-fledged baby-centric infomercial. I’ll admit, I was almost sold on their awesome stroller-carseat combo designed by NASA that was super safe and easy to use. I said almost sold because then they mentioned that they paid $1,500 for it. Seems to me they got a little ripped off though — looks like it’s available for a mere……$900.

I guess I’m not really an expert on all this baby gear yet, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t see any strollers in this price range when Alison and I took a our own stroll through Babies R Us. (But maybe I just blocked them out from my memory…) Anyway, something tells me we’ll be able to find a nice simple stroller that does the job and makes us happy…for a much lower price. I hope.

Comments (4):
  1. Anna
    3/2/2011 5:09 PM

    This chair is AWESOME. It’s actually our full time chair since us city dwellers do not have room for a high chair the size of a VW bug. Before you buy any “gear” ask at least two people with small children…the baby industry is second only to the wedding industry in getting you to unload tons of your hard-earned cash. You’d be surprised at how many of those “extras” complicate your life once you have an entire extra person in tow! 🙂

  2. Catherine
    2/24/2011 8:26 AM

    Hahahaha! Oh our lovely restaurant neighbors! That gadget is pretty cool! Oh by the way…you should move to Calabasas….

  3. KZ
    2/5/2011 8:44 PM

    Craigslist is your friend for gently used, or sometimes brand new, and cheap, baby items. There is no product worth $900 unless it also changes and feeds the baby while massaging your feet and feeding you bon bons. Just my two cents.

  4. Katy
    2/4/2011 1:01 AM

    As a parent expert (haha), I think I’m qualified to say that the more complicated the baby product, the more up your own butt you are. Of course, I can’t imagine the Friedmans being heads-up-their-own-butts kind of people, simply based on the level of coolness already associated with them. But just for future reference…beware. What I’ve found through research for various projects and jobs related to child products is simpler and less complex is better. =)

    And THAT my friends, is my “I’m-not-a-parent-but-I-still-have-opinions-on-the-matter” opinion.

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