Party Animal
Madelyn runs with an older crowd. A handful of her friends just turned one or are about to hit the one year mark, so this spring has been filled with birthday parties.
We enjoy chaperoning her to these parties because, really, they’re more for the grown ups than the babies anyway. The kids, including the birthday guest of honor, are absolutely clueless about the party and that their parents have done a lot of work to produce such a big shindig all in their name. As parents, we enjoy attending the birthday parties because it’s a chance to hang with the babes and other adults. It’s a safe haven that makes it socially acceptable to fill conversation with stroller comparisons and bed time routine suggestions. The moms love it because dads come to help with the baby and also meet the other dads.
But as the host of the party? Oh my! As we enter Madelyn’s final third of her first year, it’s already time to start thinking about her birthday party! But the pressure is on. It seems like it’s a total faux pas to copy other party ideas within the same social circle. The stress that goes into the planning of “What should I do?” and the costs that add up are already making me nervous. Finding a venue, nailing down food, providing a novel activity, sending the kids home with party favors… there’s just so much to think about. Gone are the days of the one-year birthday party that entails pizza and a pinata and a “theme” that’s threaded only through the Sesame Street paper plates and wall character cut outs. The first-year birthday party circuit is maybe even more intense than the wedding industry, and I should know! {insert shameless plug for The Wedding Yentas, a Guide for the Jewish Bride, here}.
And then there’s the pressure for the baby! It’s all about the smash cake. The parents wheel out the baby in a high chair that suddenly resembles a throne among the throng, and the expectation is that at the end of listening to a recital of “Happy Birthday” sung by the chorus of guests, the baby will smash a personal size cake, delight in its mush-ness, and shove a fistful in the mouth and light up at the new sugary sensation. The performance anxiety has got to be paralyzing. And confusing. Parents spend meal after meal trying to get the baby to eat healthy and enjoy green beans, yet suddenly, mom and dad change their tune and the baby absolutely must! eat! cake! So when the baby is kinda “meh” about the whole thing, everyone’s disappointed and the “Happy Birthday” recital is followed by an encore of “awwwww, man….” It’s so funny. Parents are so funny. The whole thing is just ridiculous. But guess what? Madelyn will be wheeled out on her high chair throne and be forced to eat dessert. It’s just how it goes.
Baby Alison at her first birthday party, June 1984.
If there's going to be a smash, it's going to be on the shared community cake at my first birthday party.
One of the parties we went to was a circus theme celebrating one of our favorite cuties, Gavin, and it really was a fun day with the other mommies in our group, the dads, and our babies. Gavin’s parents had a photo booth and we all enjoyed sitting in front of the camera and taking silly photos that we could bring home with us. It really was a great idea and I think some moms may have been thinking that they wish they’d thought of that or they can’t have a photo booth at their TBD parties because it’s already been done. But I say pish posh! One-year-old birthday parties have been enjoyed for generations and I think as long as it’s fun, it doesn’t matter if it’s been done. If it’s a good idea, mutual guests will enjoy it again, and new guests will have a blast, too!
Don’t get me wrong; I’m still thinking about Madelyn’s first birthday and cataloging ideas in my head. From the moment I finished decorating her nursery, my next thought was about how I might design her first birthday. And that was before her original birth day! Yes, I’m crazy, but I think all of us moms are. We just want the best for our babies, especially when we’re celebrating them. Acting crazy about the ones we’re crazy about isn’t so crazy after all.
Friedmans Gone Wild... in a photobooth.
It's like we're 13 again... except we have babies and we're almost 30.
The Friedmans and The Franks aka Ali and Stefanie bring their husbands into their shenanigans.
Shaye, Madelyn, and Brielle are the girls of our Mommy & Me group babies, and just like their mamas, girls just wanna have fun... in the photobooth.
UofA Baby!
When it comes to colleges, Madelyn swings more Wildcat than Mustang. Her daddy is a Cal Poly alumni, and while we love everything about San Luis Obispo and the drive (wineries!) up there, if Madelyn’s going to be a legacy of a university, it’s going to be Arizona. First and foremost, there’s no AEPhi at Cal Poly, so that’s a done deal. But also, Madelyn makes the most adorable cheerleader and UofA is all about athletics. I had so much fun going to football and basketball games — whether in human or Wilma Wildcat form.
So naturally, I was kvelling a few months ago when we took Madelyn to her first college basketball game: Wildcats vs. Trojans at USC.
In the morning, I did cheers in Madelyn’s room, and told her about how I fainted at my first football game. I pretended to demonstrate for her how to go up in a pyramid like the one time I successfully did on the basketball court. I can still hear the cheerleaders below me yelling up: “Squeeze your butt like you’re pinching a penny!”
We met up with our friends in the valley and carpooled to USC together where I debated on and off whether to take the stroller with me. “BUT IF I LEAVE IT UP ON THE CONCOURSE, WON’T IT GET STOLEN BECAUSE WE’RE IN THE GHETTO, OHMYGOSH!!!” I took it with me, and lo and behold, none of the accomplished and affluent USC fans were interested in my $60 Snap N Go that sweetly rested at the Galen Center. What? My cheap stroller frame isn’t good enough for you???????
During the game, Madelyn watched in awe of the boys who moved the big orange ball back and forth. She loved watching the videos on the big screen and wasn’t bothered at all by the sounds of cheering and buzzers. Our friends helped us out during the game when we needed free hands to make bottles or reach for a toy.
She tried to eat our chicken fingers and French fries, but told her that stadium food will have to wait. For now, there’s nothing like watching a game and throwing back a nice cold one. Of milk.
Most importantly, Madelyn is our good luck charm! The Cats beat the Trojans and now that the basketball season is over, I can probably say that that was the highlight of Wildcat basketball for 2012. We shall not speak of anything in the post season.
After the game, our crew got a bite at Freebirds across the street. Burritos and a baby: does it get any better than that?
So, Madelyn’s fate is sealed. Dear University of Arizona Admissions: Though a half-breed of Mustang and Wildcat, our daughter is a Wildcat at heart and will be overjoyed to be part of the freshman class of 2029.
BBFF
Sometimes I feel like a parent from the old country, making a match for my daughter for her future. In this case, though, it’s not her husband I’m matching; it’s her best friend.
It only seems natural that best friends should be generational, and it’s so special that my best friend, Stefanie, and I have baby girls 5 months apart. BBFF — Baby Best Friends Forever — should be easy for the two munchkins since they both have the same hobbies (putting things in their mouth), tastes in food (Earth’s Best food and Mum Mums), cry schedule (no naps means cranky attitude), fashion style (Baby Gap for the win!), sense of humor (their mamas talk to them in crazy voices and they think it’s hilarious), and — most importantly — types of parents (Stef and I have been friends since 5th grade and we are way too much alike). So, there it is, written in stone — or computer monitor — Brielle + Madelyn = BBFF.
Stefanie and I go way, way, way back to the summers of Camp Alonim where we bonded over hairy kosher chicken, cute (?) pubescent Jewish boys, and complaints about sweat and the nature. We went our separate ways to college and lost touch because it was a [gasp!] Facebook-less era.
But then, only last spring, Stefanie saw a post (because we are now very much in a Facebook-full era) about my pregnancy and reached out to say congrats and that she has a newborn herself. Well, there’s nothing like a mama and a mama-to-be that unites women in mysterious ways. We reconnected and it was just like old times. We missed out on some pretty exciting life events like college graduations, engagements and weddings, and, most importantly, the birth of Brielle, but we are so happy to be in each other’s lives, and, best of all, making new memories with our babies.
During my pregnancy, I learned a lot from Stefanie and Brielle as I watched them team up as the cutest mother-daughter duo I know. A lot of my equipment and tricks of the trade are ideas from Stefanie because she really is a mama who knows best. And Stef was there for me, too. She came to the hospital after Madelyn came into the world and she saw me at my worst during my horrible recovery. She made me feel better about what I was going through, assured me I wasn’t crazy, and supported me through irrational talk and radical feelings. A lot of people in my life did, too, but, until Stefanie, I never really had a girlfriend so present and nearby who was also my rock.
Now that Madelyn is older, she and Brielle interact and it’s pretty much the most adorable thing in the world. They stare at each other and Brielle waves (Madelyn is still working on that trick) and we mamas exchange babies to try to make them laugh. We always succeed. We have fun with our Mommy & Me group and like to go out on great adventures to the mall or lunches with the husbands, too. I know it’s just the start of many years of friendship as families and it’s special that even our parents — the grandparents — are friends. Lunch dates with Mimi and Grammy included are always filled with lots of laughs, and it’s nice to see that Madelyn and Brielle come from a great line of funny women. Stef and I fully believe that laughter is what keeps us going. Cracking up til your stomach hurts — that’s what motherhood is about.
And today is even more special! It’s Brielle’s birthday!! It blows my mind that Stefanie has a one-year-old. That means that Madelyn’s not far from that big birthday, herself! Each time I see Brielle, she has a new skill, facial expression, and sound. She’s been so fun to watch throughout this year and I’m so glad that she’s Madelyn’s BBFF. Happy birthday, Brielle!!
Chanukah Princess
For the majority of my adulthood, the holiday season has been pretty anticlimactic. During my college days, if I was still in Tucson during Chanukah, we hardly celebrated. When I graduated and started dating Bryan, we exchanged a couple gifts for a year or two and then decided we’d just treat each other well all throughout the year. The first year we lived together, we decorated the house with blue and Chanukah-themed tzchotchkes, but for the few years after, the decorations stayed in their plastic tub beyond 365 days. This year, though, with Madelyn in everyone’s lives, Chanukah took on a whole new excitement and we celebrated as if it was the first time the holiday had meaning since we were kids ourselves.
The takeaway: people really like Madelyn! Her grandparents loved spoiling her, her great aunts and cousins made sure to include her in their generous gift-giving, and her Auntie Ali enjoyed buying new things for her niece. Lighting candles and watching her stare at the lit menorah was magical, and we used our best singing voices when saying the prayer. We patiently helped her tear open the wrapping paper and savored each moment as she discovered what she was holding in her hands.
Next year, when Madelyn has a better understanding of the holiday — or that there is a holiday to be excited about — her mommy and daddy will have a present to open all eight nights. This year, though, we let everyone else enjoy the gift-giving experience with a mini gathering at our house with Mimi and Poppa and Mimi’s parents, GG and Grandy. There was a bigger party a few nights later at Grandma and Grandpa’s house with lots of cousins. And the next night, Grandma and Grandpa showered their granddaughter with even more presents! Holy matzo balls! All of the Chanukah party nights were full of yummy food (no latkes for Madelyn this year!), lots of new toys, and a full-on game of Pass the Baby.
Madelyn may not have had any idea about why all of her family gathered or about the historical and storied significance of the holiday, but it was another milestone in her first year of life that will make great photo collections!
Woo hoo! An excuse to use the fancy married China!
Bryan's latkes went straight to my thighs. Worth every calorie.
GG, Madelyn, and Mama: content after latkes and formula.
Madelyn shows off for her great grandparents
So far so good -- the baby didn't try to grab the candles.
Madelyn surrounded by a deep blue sea... of presents.
One day, she'll be tearing open pink rectangular boxes of Barbies, but this year it's all about...
THE RING STACKER... in. her. mouth.
Madelyn and Madeline. The little French girl must taste as good as a baguette.
Dog kisses. The gift that keeps on giving. And giving. And giving.
Madelyn gets deja vu for 8 nights in a row.
Chanukah at Grandma & Grandpa's is like an episode of the Jewish Partridge Family -- everyone sings!
... and 3.2 seconds later, the water ducky became the saliva ducky.
Twelve months of Madelyn!
Two babies, both dressed up in animal outfits.
Madelyn's first tea party set! Baby Bri'ish accent not included.
I need to come up with new synonyms so I can keep telling you how adorable you guys are! Seriously, you’re killing me!
The 1st photo displays the delicious table of latkes and brisket……and then I see your exercise ball in the background. Was that to remind us that we needed to burn off all those well-received calories!? Madelyn, you can enjoy the yummy latkes next Chanukah!
BabyFest 2011: Madelyn’s New Friends
Madelyn got to meet some new baby friends this past week! Over the summer, there was an explosion of babies all around the time of Madelyn’s birthday. Hmmm there must have been something very romantic about last November and December… Anyway, in the first few days of September, a new friend and a new cousin came into the world and little M got to meet both of them this week.
Becky and George’s new baby girl, Día, will be the beautiful new dancer star in the front row of all the big numbers in future Simi shows. Her not-as-dancey pal, Madelyn, will probably take after her two-left-feet mommy and daddy who are always in the back row fumbling through Becky’s choreography. No rivalry there! BFF for life.
But for now, Día and Madelyn are enjoying babyhood with all the girly cuteness and the theater moms (all of ’em!) continue to gush.
And then, the next day, Madelyn’s cousin Ocean came for a visit and they even linked arms and schemed together about all the future trouble they’ll plan for the mommies, my cousin Jaimie and me. They began their commotion while making their entrances into the world because both Jaimie and I had the same last-minute c-section after our babies decided it would be much more fun and dramatic to hang out at the end and not budge through to the outside world. Thanks, kids.
Ocean was surrounded by women and he tolerated it well. Looks like he’ll have no problem being the class heart throb! He’s a cutie, for sure, and all of Madelyn’s girlfriends are going to want to meet her gorgeous cousin. We’re all going to have lots of fun times at Ocean’s Grammy’s house at the beach with all the other adorable kids and gushing grown ups.