Birthday Day
Madelyn’s birthday was fo fun! For me! Madelyn? Yeah, I’m sure she had a good time, but I had the most special day celebrating my mommy anniversary with my baby girl, my mom, my best friend, her mom, and Brielle, Madelyn’s best friend! This tradition started on Brielle’s first birthday in March when we decided it would become tradition — birthday lunches together on the babies’ birthdays! When we went out for Brielle’s big day five months ago, it seemed like forever until it’d be our turn. But, as I’ve learned, time keeps a tick-tockin’ and on August 9th, Madelyn turned the big O-N-E.
We met up at The Cheesecake Factory, our usual favorite, and put the girls next to each other so we could swoon over them interacting (interacting = one baby swiping another baby’s piece of sourdough bread off her sticky placemat).
One reason we love The Cheesecake Factory for lunches with babies is the complimentary baby plate that comes out on the table as soon as we sit down. It’s tiny slices of their amaaaaaazing bread and bananas sliced into coins. Why can’t all restaurants do this? Helps keep the babies busy and fed while the grown ups try to enjoy grown up time.
They were so good while we figured out our orders and ate our own meals. Good job, babies!!
After we finished our lunches, I ordered Madelyn her own personal baby-sized ice cream sundae and a chocolate fudge cake for the table. This would be Madelyn’s first introduction to delicious things like sweets. Here I go spending a whole year dedicating myself to making healthy foods for Madelyn only to mess it all up with binging on cake and ice cream.
She wasn’t quite sure at first, but after a few tastes of ice cream with chocolate fudge cake she realized it didn’t suck and that she should make several servings and eat it at the kitchen counter at 10 p.m. because she’s stressed about planning a birthday party in two days… oh wait, that’s me.
Even Brielle got in on the birthday treats binge fest. She loved Madelyn’s birthday!!
Stefanie and her mom, Michelle, were so sweet and wanted to bring presents to lunch so that we could have our own intimate party. Opening birthday presents for your baby is awkward. Babies don’t really know what to do with them, so you end up unwrapping them yourself and then when the present is revealed, the baby cares more about the tissue paper anyway. Silly babies. They have it all wrong.
Maybe she’ll have this exercise down by Chanukah??
Before leaving (and leaving our mess… Oops! Sorry, Cheesecake!), we snapped a few more photos to document the day. Must’ve been something in the air on Madelyn’s birthday because everyone looked really good! Hot August air does wonders for the hair.
I think Madelyn had a fabulous birthday day! In the last photo with the mamas and the babies, Madelyn is even reenacting the birthing position. Such a lady, that one.
Later that night, Madelyn and I managed to stuff ourselves silly with another celebration at a restaurant. We met up with Bryan and Princeton for some more grub, but Madelyn seemed too worn out for her reunion with cake. We tried to GIVE her dessert and she turned away. Who is she? This can’t be my child. Doesn’t she know that on your birthday, you are required to eat dessert several times a day? Oh well. She’ll learn eventually. It’s only her first one.
The funny thing is, after all this celebrating of Madelyn’s arrival, it wasn’t until we got home and she was fast asleep that it was even close to a year since her birth. She was born late at night after a long day of induced labor and an unforeseen c-section. Out she came at 10:25 p.m. on August 9, 2011 and on August 9, 2012, I was going over the whole play-by-play of the events from the year before.
“Bryan, it’s 9 p.m. right now. A year ago RIGHT NOW, Dr. Fiiiiine came in and was giving us a little more of a chance to push her out before snip-snip time…”
“Bryan, it’s 10 p.m. right now. A year ago RIGHT NOW, I was getting wheeled into surgery and I was crying non-stop only to be comforted by Dr. Hunk’s dreamy looks and powerful, um, needle.”
“Bryan, it’s 10:25 right now. We JUST had a baby. You cut the cord. You leave with the baby. I puke. Good times.”
“Bryan, it’s 11 p.m. right now. A year ago RIGHT NOW, you were like ‘where the hell is Alison? Oh, she’s a geyser of leaking blood? This is rare and almost a problem? Cool.”
“Bryan, it’s midnight. A year ago RIGHT NOW — ”
“Alison, a year from now, RIGHT NOW, you will have your mouth stapled shut!”
Okay, he didn’t really say that because my husband is a gentleman, he is, but that was basically me the whole night of her birthday. I just relived every hour of the experience, and there was something comforting about it.
Madelyn’s birthday was a wonderful day and as special as her birth day was last year, her birthday this year was fun and I loved celebrating with my little buddy on my hip!
Twelve months! ONE YEAR!
Hi. My name is Alison. I am a mother to a ONE-YEAR-OLD! Holy 12 months, where did the year go?
It went a little something like this:
Madelyn is officially out of infancy and our toddlerhood begins. She is definitely toddling, though not on a regular basis. She’s taken steps and is still building her confidence, so crawling is still her preferred method of transportation.
It’s no secret that I’d been pretty emotional about her turning one. I still can’t really articulate why, but the feelings of nostalgia were in full force, pulsing lots of awe and amazement for what we’ve all experienced in the past year. The night before her birthday, I rocked her in her dark room as we always do when she takes her bedtime bottle. I played with her hair and stared at her lips and eyes as she calmed herself for sleepy time. The diva that she is pushed the bottle as if to say “take it away, Jeeves! I just simply canNOT be bothered with it anymore!”, wiped her eyes, and scrunched her face in her poodle lovey. She does this every time she is finished with her milk and ready for her crib. So I stood up with her, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and slowly lowered her into her crib, whispering to her, “Goodnight my little 11-month-old for the last time. When you wake up in the morning, you’ll be one.” She turned over, stuck her tushie up in the air, and drifted off to Dreamland in no time. I, on the other hand, ran out the door and into Bryan’s shoulder where I sobbed that I just put to bed our little baby and when I go to her in the morning, she won’t be a little baby anymore. And I guess that’s what got to me. That time moves on. Ready or not. She’s ready. And I will be ready. I will.
This month, Madelyn…
OMG it’s SHE’LL BE COMIN’ AROUND THE MOUTAIN! GET OUT! AHHHHHHH
You GUYS! I’m ONE! My curfew is, like, 7 p.m. now!
Whoooaaaa… I think I celebrated and drank too much milk! I really need to lay off the bottle!! Wheee!
Girls just wanna have fuuu-uuu-uuun!!!
Be still my heart! She is simply PRESH. These pictures are so cute – but honestly, Alison, your writing is what makes this whole thing so poignant and exciting. Mazel on Miss M’s big 1st bday! xoxo
Happy Birthday Madelyn!
Happy First Birthday, Madelyn! And I hope to share many many many more birthdays and firsts with you. This year has been fun & flown by, but we have more fun experiences to conquer! I Loooove you!
XOXOX Mimi
What A Difference A Year Makes
We are on the heels of Madelyn’s first birthday which is this Thursday, August 9th. People keep reminding me that she’s about to turn one, commenting how big she is and how fast the year went. None of this is news to me. She is big now and I swear I blinked and it’s already August again.
I’ve been pretty emotional as we approach her birthday and it’s not because I don’t want Madelyn to get older; I’m excited for toddler-hood and know we’re in for a treat of many laughs and fun times. I just know that if this year zoomed by, then I know all the years after will, too.
I worry. What if I didn’t appreciate X? What if I didn’t spend enough time doing Y? What if I missed out on Z? I don’t want to have any regrets, especially about Madelyn’s first year. I have no control over time and can’t press the pause button. The clock is going to strike 12 on August 9th and just like that, Madelyn will be one. One year down in the books. Next!
The one-year mark is not just about Madelyn getting older. Now that I am a mother, I feel as though birthdays should celebrate the children who were born, and also the mothers who brought them into the world. To think about what I went through, what I felt, what I experienced a short 12 months ago and how I ended up 12 months later is remarkable.
The Alison of August 2011 had no idea what life would be like today. A year ago at this time, I didn’t even know when I’d be having a baby. All I knew is that I was past my due date and twiddling my thumbs. There had been talk of a possible induction, but it wouldn’t be until the day before Madelyn’s eventual birthday that the induction would actually be scheduled. A year ago at this time, I was so swollen, I could hear my feet go squinch-squinch as I walked. My chins were aiming in vertical and horizontal directions. I was peeing every 45 minutes and only making a drip-drop each time. I was frightened about birth and pushing out a baby. The Alison of then had no idea she’d never even get to push.
The Alison of then had no idea that after she brought home her baby, she’d go through 11 weeks of pure hell, recovering from an extremely painful and serious infection at her incision site. The Alison of then was intending to breastfeed for a year, never even considering she’d last only 10 days. The Alison of then didn’t expect the overwhelming strong support and love that would come pouring out of family and friends after the baby would be born, and she had no clue how she could possibly re-fall in love with her husband and fall madly in awe of a new little person. The Alison of a year ago assumed a few months of hard work would bring her body back to normal and was unaware of the unfortunate combination of gravity and pregnancy.
I tell the Alison of 2011, “Oh, Alison of 2011, only a year ago, you are a completely different person than the Alison of 2012. A year changed your priorities and passions and it was the best year to ever happen.”
So I guess I’m not sad about the year quickly passing. I’m not happy about it either. I’m just… fascinated. In awe. I am still adjusting and figuring it out and recovering in my own way. But the timer is about to go “ding!” on the year and I’m not sure I’m ready to turn off the oven and start preparing a new year. I like this year. I went through a lot, some shitty things happened, mostly amazing things happened, and I don’t think I’m really on board to move on and start over. To file this year away seems rude.
I’ve tried to explain this to various friends and family members and I’m not sure it made sense then, and I am pretty sure it still doesn’t make sense now. I am a sentimental fool and the symbol of a birthday — of turning a year older — makes me realize that the past is no longer of importance and our eyes must be aimed toward the future and what comes next. But the thing is, some of the most important things happened in the past 363 days and I don’t want them to become distant memories.
And this is why I write.
that last picture of all your family and closest friends on the other side of the window makes me so happy every single time I see it!!! I’ll have to remember to get a picture like this when I get a little baby!!!
HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY MADELYN!!!!
Away
One of my best friends from college is getting married in October and before Harmony sets off to marry her loverboy, our girls are getting together where it all began for us — the dusty streets of Tucson — to send her off with a bachelorette weekend! We’re all so excited to head back to our roots (a drive-by of AEPhi, I’m sure), eat at all of our favorite places (Beyond Bread 82374987134 times), enjoy the good life that we didn’t live when we were in college (staying at one of the resorts in the hills!), and be the cougars we never thought we’d be at our favorite dive bar (DIRTBAGS! A part of growing up. We grew up. Oy.). It’s all really exciting — mostly because Harmony’s getting marrrrrried — but I always have the best time with my Phis and we’ve been squealing about this weekend for months.
Harmony and me before an AEPhi date dash my junior/her senior year.
Our 2nd Beyond Bread trip during our Tucson weekend in 2010
Fun night out at Dirtbags in 2010. We felt old THEN…
Wine tasting weekend in Santa Ynez Valley with all six of us together only a couple months pre-pregnancy.
Together for Madelyn’s baby naming earlier this year!
And while I’m with all my favorite girls, I will be away from my best good girl back home; my Madelyn.
This weekend will be the first time I’ve ever been away from Madelyn for a night. And it’ll be two nights. Sure, I’ve had my necessary “days off,” to get a mani/pedi or meet up with business clients (want to advertise on a Jewish weddings blog?), but I’ve never gone to sleep and woken up without her a few handfuls of feet away.
Bryan is going to enjoy a daddy/daughter weekend, which I know he’s looking forward to. During the week, he only gets to spend an hour or two at night with her before she goes to sleep, so they’re going to have some pretty concentrated bonding time. I’m glad for them because I think it’s special, but I’m also going to feel left out. I wish I could clone myself and be in two places at once. What if she starts walking hard-core? What if she starts putting together real words? What if she performs a soprano aria to a sold out crowd at Carnegie Hall? These are the things I’d be sad to miss.
Daddy and Daddy’s Girl
I know he’ll take good care of her. He is, after all, the one who kept the two of us alive those first three weeks at home when I was battling my infection. He totally had the household under control, and he’s always my rock when I need him to be. But part of me can’t help but feel the mom guilt that I should be at home with my family and maintain a sense of normalcy. I’m not at all concerned that Bryan isn’t up for the job, and as much as we are very connected, we are also still individuals who parent in slightly different ways. Things that may not happen on my watch with my rules during the day may pass with flying colors when Daddy’s in charge … not because he’s intentionally defying the mother hen, but because it’s not something that particularly bothers him when he rules the roost. Then again, I remember the rules were slightly different (read: bent) when my dad was the boss when my mom was away on business trips, and it was freakin’ awesome. M&Ms for snack time and pizza delivery for dinner, all while watching TV in the living room? Score! It was fun, I survived, and I even turned out pretty well.
Madelyn will probably not even have a clue that I’m gone. That’s a good thing. I’m sure when I’m galavanting through The Toos with the girls, all I’ll need is a photo text or two to make me feel like I’m part of life at home. When the weekend of celebrating Harmony is over and I come back from my two days away, nothing will cheer me up about leaving my favorite girls than a hug from my best good girl.
With my little nugget.
Funny, I’m leaving for the first time this weekend also! I’ll commiserate with you from a far.
Have a blast… need to get them in before you have 2!
Have a great time! A happy mommy =a happy house!
At The Zoo
Lately, I have felt exhausted and pulled in many different directions. I guess it’s the normal mom thing. Taking care of the household and chasing an 11-month old all day. Holding up commitments with friends and social dates. Putting a lot of energy into family events and members. Generally, I have been doing a lot of “being there” for others, and not really for myself. I don’t mind any of this — the schlepping, the late nights, the spending — but it is tiring. But I feel like lately, I’ve had a hard time saying “no,” when I probably should say “no.” What can I say? I don’t want to miss out on anything. I don’t want to let anyone down. I want to be everywhere and with everyone. It gets tiring, though, and I needed a day for myself to enjoy a new environment and calm surroundings. So my mom, Madelyn, and I headed up to Santa Barbara to enjoy a beautiful day at the zoo. I was still a mom. I was still schlepping. But for some reason, it felt liberating.
It was actually Madelyn’s second time at the zoo. Bryan and I took her in May with our friends Stefanie and Jeremy and their daughter, Brielle. We enjoyed introducing our daughters, 5 months apart, to the animals and spending time together as families.
We bought an annual pass because I knew it would be a perfect outing for when I needed a mini day-cation away. Earlier in the week when I made the plans to come back with my mom, I knew it would be the necessary refresher for our three generations to escape for the day.
And what’s better than escaping to the Savannah to see the giraffes, Asia to see the elephants, and the Congo to see the gorillas?
We rode the train around the zoo and learned about the behind-the-scenes of exhibits and animals. We enjoyed a yummy picnic lunch from my favorite sandwich shop down the street while overlooking the water to the left and the botanical gardens to the right. The weather was perfect. The air was clean. And there’s something special and empowering about being so close to some of nature’s greatest miracles. It’s humbling to be inches away from beautiful animals and watching them eat, interact, snooze, and play.
Madelyn was too young to understand all of this. But she was happy. And I hope her days at the zoo will leave her in awe of the animal kingdom and love them as much as I do when she’s old enough to appreciate these trips.
My days-old, lingering headache that’s gotten the best of me from recent stress didn’t feel so bad when I realized I got to escape the pile of laundry that waited at home, take a break from planning and organizing, and not feel like I had to say “yes.” Today, I didn’t spread myself too thin.
I loved spending a fun-filled day at the Santa Barbara Zoo & going on “safari” with my 2 beautiful favorite girls!! It was a perfect day. I love you both so much!! Xoxo