January 6, 2014

Madelyn’s First Day Of Preschool

by Alison Friedman in Madelyn & Friends, Marvelous Madelyn, Mommy's Musings, Preschool University

Twas the night before Madelyn’s first day of preschool, and all through the house, a mommy was stirring — BECAUSE SHE’S A NEUROTIC WOODY ALLEN MOTHER WHO NEEDED TO BE SURE THAT HER DAUGHTER’S FIRST DAY OF PRESCHOOL EVER WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE OF HER LIIIIIIIIIFE.

Mama’s got issues. That’s OK. It means I care too much. A lot.

The night before school, Bryan and I talked up the whole shebang.

“You sing songs ALL the time. You’re basically getting two-for-one voice lessons at Jewish preschool. Don’t you want to be the next Barbra Streisand?!”

“You’re going to make so many new friends! You LOVE playing with friends! It’s never too soon to start campaigning for Homecoming Queen Esther!”

“You get to eat lunch that we make together! Here, Madelyn. Let’s put in all your favorite foods like carrot sticks and organic apples, and baby broccolinis. Right? RIGHT?!?!”

We actually did make lunch together and it was fun! Normally I dread making lunches, especially my own for when I go to work AT school, but Madelyn and I teamed up. She held the bag and counted the carrot sticks as I dropped them in. And I gave her the choice of strawberry jelly or grape jelly on her sandwich. It was such a team effort.

And then I lost my marbles when I put her cute little owl lunch bag in the fridge. Because preschool!

"Oh, hi Cool Whip and eggs and grapes! I'm new here and I'm a hoot!"

“Oh, hi Cool Whip and eggs and grapes! I’m new here and I’m a hoot!”

So hard to believe that we have crossed the line into this little category. For months, BabyCenter has been sending me emails about Madelyn’s development because, you know, the Internet gods know everything, and the same folks who updated me on the produce in my belly, and the infant in my arms, and the toddler on my… everything… the same folks have been sending me emails subjected “Your Preschooler” since August. Eh eh — not so fast, Internet gods! My Preschooler was not in preschool because I felt she needed a little more time at home (i.e., we bought a house and we were po’!) but now those emails are like Shakira’s hips: they don’t lie! My little poppyseed has become a preschooler! I was so excited to watch her grow, make new friends (for all of us!), and, well, for me to get a manicure at 10 a.m. But yes, the whole thing was bittersweet because there’s something so unbabyish about taking your toddler to preschool. Madelyn is almost closer to kindergarten than she is to newbornhood. Crazy, that tick-tock of time.

My alarm was set to go off way too early on Preschool Day. Madelyn and I are used to sleeping until at least 8:30 or 9:00, so I was having major anxiety about what our morning would be like. Neither of us are sunnyside up when it’s time to wake before we’re ready, so naturally, just like you do the night before a super early flight and you have to get to the airport, I woke up every hour in a panic: “IS IT TIME?! HAVE I OVERSLEPT? DID WE SKIP PRESCHOOL AND ARE WE NOW AT COLLEGE?!”

I got myself up, managed to put on makeup and a bra — both things I usually don’t do before 10 — and then woke up Sleeping Beauty who was not impressed with the whole exercise. But I reminded her it was Preschool Day and she smiled super big. We got dressed, did our hair, and Madelyn was in a great mood. She had breakfast and we went over all the wonderful things she could expect.

Just before we left, we took The Picture in front of the door. Isn’t that a rite of a passage in and of itself? I’ve seen all my friends do this for years, and while I was tempted to do the same for Princeton before his first night of Obedience School, I skipped it and waited to be able to do this with my own (human) child. Today was the day!

Thankfully, she cooperated for the camera. Lately, she’s anti-paparazzi and has mastered giving “the hand.” She was in such a good mood, she posed and giggled and showed off her lunch box!

Memo to Alison in 11 years: This is for sure going in the Bat Mitzvah montage

Memo to Alison in 11 years: This is for sure going in the Bat Mitzvah montage

Madelyn's First Day of Preschool

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Off we went to school where she frolicked through the playground to enter the bright and cheery classroom with her equally bright and cheery teachers and then it happened:

The Leg Hug.

Her arms gripped her Daddy’s leg like a hippie’s on a tree, and she would. not. let. go. OK, OK, so, she’s a little bit of a leg hugger and is usually slow to warm when entering a room anyway. No big whoop. We’ll ignore this behavior and get to know the room and the teachers and all that. Well, she gave the side eye to anyone who even so much as breathed the same oxygen as her in the room, and didn’t show any signs of unlatching.

Finally, one of the teachers got her to at least sit in a chair and she looked at the play dough while the other kids made museum-quality works of art out of it, but hey, at least she looked at it.

"Maybe if I look at this long enough, it'll do something."

“Maybe if I look at this long enough, it’ll do something.”

We had done all of our admin duties and made our way over to her for the kiss-off. A quick “goodbye and love you,” sealed with a kiss, and a promise that I’d be back in a little bit (three hours) seemed to do the trick. No tears. No hysterics. It was a perfect morning after all.

Love my big girl!!

Love my big girl!!

We drove off campus, Bryan and I looked at the “Schedule” the teachers gave us detailing a typical day of Madelyn’s class and we wished we were two, and then we went our separate ways for the day. I felt 28.7 pounds lighter when I realized I had a whole 2.5 hours ahead of me to do whatever I wanted and efficiently.

Bryan's going to propose this new schedule to his boss at work.

Bryan’s going to propose this new schedule to his boss at work.

Until 10:45 when I got a phone call that I should return to school. School gets out at noon.

Apparently, Madelyn had a bit of a roller coaster morning after we’d left. Thankfully, it wasn’t the tantrum kind, but she was sad and definitely asking for her mommy over and over again. She saw her beloved Mommy & Me teacher on the playground and had a hard time accepting the fact that she flew that coop, and was in a new nest with new wonderful teachers and new sweet friends. That adjustment must be hard for toddlers — to be at the same school, but in a different class with a different format and different faces — so I totally get it.

I came back in the classroom to find the kiddies eating lunch — and so well, I might add! — and Madelyn was a happy little girl. She was told that I was coming back and she perked back up. We ate lunch together and I was so impressed with her independence and the routines in the classroom which, as I could see, the seasoned teachers had well oiled.

Lunch time success!

Lunch time success!

We finished up the day with some circle time and some songs. I made sure she felt comfortable having me there, but didn’t want to participate too much and convey a Mommy & Me-type setting for her, so I gave her short cues based on her teachers’ directions to the whole class, and she settled in really nicely.

Madelyn participates at circle time at the end of the day!

Madelyn participates at circle time at the end of the day!

The end of the day came quickly, and Madelyn was in a great mood. Despite the rocky transition in the first half, I’d say the day as a whole was successful.

I’m so proud of my little preschooler and know we have many years of memories to make together in our preschool community. And she sang “Shalom Haverim” so beautifully, that Babs better be shakin’ in her boots.

Comments (2):
  1. Pattie
    1/7/2014 8:17 AM

    I so look forward to your updates! What a little trooper…MOMMY! haha. New friends, new adventures, growing up. It’s all part of the plan for kiddies and a really hard transition for moms! Book those mornings! Lots of mani/pedi’s, lunches, movies (if they aren’t too long!) Enjoy your mommy time, while Madelyn grows to love school!
    Love you all….

  2. Mimi
    1/6/2014 10:02 PM

    Dear Sweet Madelyn! I’m so happy that you had a busy & fun day in your new pre-school class. I love your schedule of activities & that you will have very clean hands. 😉 It will be fun/funny to look back on this big event/milestone & see that you are still friends or even went all through your school years with some of your new classmates.
    Starting with today, I can’t wait to be able to go to lots of your school events!!
    I love you! <3
    Mimi

January 1, 2014

Jewish Identity

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner, Judaism

Some of my earliest memories of childhood are from my days on the playground at preschool with my then best friend, Jordan. I can still see Jordan and myself trudging through the sandbox and going down the slide, followed by an uncomfortable jaunt on the awkward metal tricycles that we rode in circles on what I remember as a blacktop. I have vague memories of other aspects of preschool too – I think at some point we actually had naptime on cots and I’m pretty sure we sang songs outside under a big tree with a woman playing the guitar. (I distinctly remember the Jewish classics “Bim Bom” and “My Bagel Lies Over The Ocean”.)

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It is this exact same preschool that Madelyn will be starting at next week (with a brand new state of the art jungle gym on that neat rubbery surface and minus a few safety-questionable tricycles). Understandably, it has me reflecting on my early days there because even though this is the start to Madelyn’s 20+ year career in the education system, it is also the beginning of something else that I hope will become as important to her as it has for Alison and me – her Jewish identity. Sure, there’s an argument to be made that her baby naming was really the start of that, and certainly in some ways it was, but while I’m fairly confident she won’t remember that occassion too well (she was less than a year old), I’m hoping she’ll remember her preschool days as fondly as I do.

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Of course, despite learning the Hamotzi and how to say “Shabbat Shalom,” my time at Temple preschool was a short-lived Jewish experience that ended when it was time for Kindergarten. My parents, though raised Jewish, weren’t overly religious, and while we celebrated Chanukah and Passover, we also celebrated Christmas and Easter (for a few years). So even though my Jewish identity started with the temple preschool, it wasn’t until I was in third grade when I explicitly asked my parents if I could go to Hebrew school and have a Bar Mitzvah. I had attended a conservative temple’s Friday night services with a friend, and I don’t know if it was the sprinkled sugar cookies during the Oneg or what, but there was just something about it that intrigued me and had me wanting more. When I went to my parents about this, their reaction was positive, despite my dad’s self-described bad experience with his own Bar Mitzvah. I think they realized much better than me at the time that the conservative temple was probably not the place for us, so they did some legwork for me, researching two reform congregations in the area – one of them where I had attended preschool years earlier.

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We ended up, however, joining the other one and leaving my preschool temple behind. My parents really connected with the Director of this congregation, and in all honesty, I think part of the decision was also driven by cost, given that this alternative was less expensive (something I understand all too well in my current reality). I started in the middle of third grade, needing private tutoring in Hebrew until I caught up with the rest of the class. It was only one day a week, but it wasn’t long before I was caught up and then some. By fifth grade, kids and teachers alike started poking fun at me, calling me Rabbi Friedman because I took to things so well and actually really liked and embraced Hebrew school. Before long, my whole family got very involved – my sister started classes, my mom became a 2nd grade teacher there, and my dad played guitar at services. I had my Bar Mitzvah, went on to Confirmation class, and then continued as a teacher’s assistant for that same teacher who I started with in 3rd grade. Even when I went off to college, I would come home for High Holy Days services and watch my dad blow the Shofar. When I met Alison, I found out she had gone there too and my dad had even played guitar at her Bat Mitzvah. We had the same rabbi for our Mitzvahs and he officiated at our wedding too. This congregation and everything I had built with it completely defined my Jewish identity.

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And then it went away. Suddenly. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I think the Director/Owner had just decided that she was burned out after all those years of running the show, and the whole thing just disbanded. It was very quietly devastating for me. I felt lost for a short time. It was like everything we had built together had meant nothing. I selfishly felt abandoned.

When Alison got pregnant, we knew we wanted to join a congregation so we would have a Jewish home for our family. We were not planning to force feed the Torah down our kids’ throats, but we did want to build a foundation of Judaism that we grew up with and allow them to grow and choose how they wanted to celebrate – to define their own Jewish identity. We checked out the Friday night services and did some research on a reform temple in the area – the one I went to preschool at. We loved the musical atmosphere of the services and the warm feeling of community that the temple congregation, staff, and clergy brought. So we decided to join, and Alison and Madelyn began attending Mommy-and-Me classes and Tot Shabbats there. Madelyn got her Hebrew name, and we attended services whenever we could. I felt my Jewish identity shifting and changing from what it was in the past to something new and different, and I liked it. Whereas before I looked at Judaism with much more youthful eyes, now I viewed it from the eyes of a father and a husband – a family man. It’s been three years and Alison and I are really starting to get involved, joining some committees and starting to carve out our own place in the temple.

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All of this is to say that Madelyn’s latest milestone has made me realize that I’ve been on an endless journey of discovery of my own Jewish identity since I started preschool, just as she’s about to do. In fact, she’s a part of helping me define it even still, and she’s just beginning her journey as I did (and as her mom did too with help from Jewish summer camp in her case). I’m very excited to watch Madelyn make her own discoveries about religion and her heritage, even if it’s only “Bim Bom” and the Hamotzi for now. I know she’s starting off right because when I ask what she did at the temple, she always right away mentions one of her favorite things – “chaaaallaaaah”. Plus, she’s already made a name for herself at services by dancing to some of the more upbeat prayers. Next week, she will continue the Friedman preschool legacy that started thirty years ago, and my Jewish identity couldn’t be prouder.

November 28, 2013

On The First Night of Hanukkah…

by Alison Friedman in Marvelous Madelyn, Mommy's Musings

Last night was the first night of Hanukkah and it was also the first time I’ve done my parental duty of buying and wrapping presents. I know my Mother of the Year medal should be taken away immediately for not doing the gifting thing for my own daughter, but I felt that during her first two Hanukkahs, she a) didn’t really need anything and was still digesting goodies from her birthdays only four months before, and b) also didn’t “get it.” The whole routine of lighting candles when the sun goes down and opening a present for eight consecutive nights was beyond her ability to appreciate the entire holiday. We lit candles and she was mesmerized by the flame and of course we celebrated with our extended families on one or two nights of the eight, but our nuclear version of Hanukkah was minimized to candles and a few decorations around the house.

Princeton has always understood and appreciated Pawnukkah.

Princeton has always understood and appreciated Pawnukkah.

Well not this year! Hanukkah came back to the Friedman house. Perhaps it was the joy in celebrating in a homey-home with more space and things to decorate. And perhaps we could see that Madelyn finally reached an age where she gets excited about presents and family time. And she also has awareness for commercial products, so it would be fun to give her the gift of Minnie and Ariel and Kitty and other friends — you know, because the real purpose of Hanukkah is to buy into what Target puts on its shelves. Oh, ‘Murica. But what can I say? I am a sucker for seeing joy in my child’s face, and if it means a handful-and-a-half of colorful, pop culture-related presents in December November and December, then I’m all for it.

The Many Faces of Hanukkah Madelyn

The Many Faces of Hanukkah Madelyn

Madelyn has also been learning the dreidel song at her preschool class. It’s amazing how going to a class once a week can sink into our little sponge. She sees the dreidels around the house and sings the song. She even requests singing it with her Daddy at the keyboard.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKcuxin7mZE

Last night was the first night of Hanukkah and I was so excited to do with her what I remember my parents doing with me! We ate dinner… except it was far from traditional. I knew we’d be doing the latkes and the whole shebang in a few days, so I made chicken stir fry. Hey, if we eat Chinese food on Christmas, why can’t we do it on Hanukkah?

We set up the candles on the menorah and then as we were about to turn off the lights and gather Madelyn for the prayer, we realized we both had mushy brains and couldn’t remember the melody! Thanks to Rabbi Google, we got back on track, and took turns bringing Madelyn to the menorah as we lit the candles. She was totally into it, and Bryan and I were huge puddles of pride.

As we held her together, she took one last look at the candles, looked back at us, pursed her lips, and began to blow. The last time she was so close to fire, it was her birthday. The innocence of children during the holidays is deliciously cute.

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Thankfully, all the candles stayed lit. Having enough oil for eight days? Miracle shmiracle. It’s all about the resistance of a toddler’s blow.

Then we told Madelyn she could pick out one present from the bunch. She stood in front of her choices, put her finger to her chin and went “Hmmmm… Let’s see….” and I quietly giggled over the important life decision in front of her that I so totally remember from my own childhood: Which present to open tonight.

Eeny meeny miney mo!

Eeny meeny miney mo!

With no method to her madness, she picked a funny looking present — the one that was hardest for me to wrap — and ripped in. It was an assortment of little toys I picked up in the “stocking stuffer” aisle of Target, actually. A bunch of little Disney things: an Ariel light-up toy, a small Ariel figurine, a Minnie Mouse AND Disney Princess camera, and a Disney Princess soft ball to throw around the house. Kids are so funny when they open presents. Instead of taking each one out to see what’s next, she’d take out one item and begin to play with it, not caring that there was more to see inside. We had to keep reminding her that there was more!

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I think her favorite from the lot are her two little cameras. She pushes the button, it makes a shutter sound, and then it displays a picture of a princess or Minnie Mouse. It’s like a modern day ViewMaster, remember those? She thinks she’s taking actual pictures, though, and she tells us to pose, puts the camera up in the air — the way she sees us snapping away at her with our iPhones — and then puts the camera to her cheek to hear the shutter click. It’s the worst shooting technique I’ve ever seen, but it’s adorable and it totally makes sense. To her. Who knows? Maybe this silly little Hanukkah toy from 2013 will inspire her future career as a photographer?

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There are seven nights left, including a few family get togethers in the mix, and I can’t wait to see what delights her each night. I hope we are creating special memories and traditions for Madelyn that she’ll remember with joy when she is an adult. And I really hope Costco still carries Yoshidas because it’s the best thing for stir fry ever.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp4E-zmqHQM

November 27, 2013

Our New House

by Alison Friedman in Mommy's Musings, On the homefront

It was truly the first hothothot day of summer. And of course it was also moving day. The moving company I hired brought a truck that was too small and we had to make three trips from the old place to the new one, which meant that our time went longer, and well, cha-ching, cha-ching! Thanks goodness the houses were only about 10 minutes away from each other.

Of course that’s not the first thing that went wrong in the whole process. We bought a house that was a short sale. The selling agent was a rookie with a cocky attitude and a knack for telling lies, except he was bad at it, and I called him out on it several times.

Because it was a short sale, that meant that the sellers did absolutely nothing that sellers usually have to do and their bank was 100% not interested in handling those things for them. There was an oops with our lender, too, and we ended up closing a week late which also cost us money. And when we moved in, we learned about appliances that didn’t work and really weird electrical issues.

They say that moving is never fun and buying a house is a dramatic process. “They” are correct.

The day after the first hothothot day of summer, we demolished the kitchen. Well, we didn’t. The company we hired to remodel it did. For the first three-and-a-half weeks we lived in our new home, we couldn’t really use it much because we knocked down a wall, completely rearranged plumbing, and redid the counters and cabinets. So without a kitchen, we had a lot of takeout (thank goodness for good restaurants nearby). We also gained a lot of pounds (thank goodness for stairs in our house).

By August, just in time for Madelyn’s birthday, our house was in a working and living condition. But, like most young families who buy a new house (in California), we were house poor. So the necessary new furniture and decor slowly trickled it. In fact, it’s still not complete as we still need a dining room set and guest room accommodations, but fortunately, we have no imminent feasts or house guests planned in the foreseeable future.

I haven’t posted much about the house because, really, it didn’t feel like ours until very recently. There’s still a lot that needs to be done in order for me to truly love it (we need a groomed yard — very badly!, a window in the living room, a fresh paint job throughout, window washing, and flowers in the front), but it finally feels like we live in it. Like it’s OURS. Like we’re going to raise the rest of our family here and maybe even some grandkids. We bought this house with the idea that we’d live here for the long run, the way we grew up in our parents’ houses. Bryan’s parents still live in the house he was born into, and my parents sold my childhood home right after I graduated college. Neither of us moved around as kids, and I’d like that for our children as well. Obviously, if it’s possible to upgrade further, certainly we would be open to that, but for this lifestyle we currently know, this house is ours for the long run.

And since it’s ours for the long run, we’re also not in a rush to complete it… except that’s a lie and I am constantly daydreaming about projects I want to do around the house or finishing touches to the outside. The place was actually built in 1966 and I think it looks pretty good for a house so old. The kitchen had been redone several times, we think, and the ceiling’s been scraped, and thank goodness we bought it with air conditioning. The neighborhood is older with quite a few houses still occupied by the original owners. But the house, like the neighborhood, is still warm and welcoming and a very regular suburban homestead.

Most importantly, Madelyn and Princeton have so much room to play! We have four bedrooms, and two of them are currently used, one we are using as an office, and the other one is Madelyn’s playroom (until we have to deliver the bad news that she loses the playroom in exchange for a baby sibling… in the future… IN THE FUTURE… this is how rumors get started). The living room has lots of great floor space, our family room opens up into the kitchen thanks to our remodel, and the house came with lots of storage and closet space. Going from our 1500 square foot condo to our new house, we definitely swim in it, but I have a feeling it will tighten up, especially when we add another human to the mix (again: IN THE FUTURE). But isn’t that what makes a house a home?

The front of the house has an interesting walk to the front door. I like how friends and family walk through a gated courtyard before they get to our red doors. I love color, so this was a plus for me when I saw it.

The front of the house has an interesting walk to the front door. I like how friends and family walk through a gated courtyard before they get to our red doors. I love color, so this was a plus for me when I saw it.

The entryway allows you to go either right toward the family room/office/guest bath or left toward the living room/dining room. I have an entry table that I will decorate seasonally, which is fun!

The entryway allows you to go either right toward the family room/office/guest bath or left toward the living room/dining room. I have an entry table that I will decorate seasonally, which is fun!

The family room has some space for Madelyn's toys and books and a cozy sofa for our TV marathonning. I love that it opens up to the kitchen now and I can see the TV or watch Madelyn playing while I'm cooking. The house came with yellow/sage/sky blue window treatments from Pottery Barn and I liked them so much that I wanted to keep the color scheme alive in the furniture and accent pieces.

The family room has some space for Madelyn’s toys and books and a cozy sofa for our TV marathonning. I love that it opens up to the kitchen now and I can see the TV or watch Madelyn playing while I’m cooking. The house came with yellow/sage/sky blue window treatments from Pottery Barn and I liked them so much that I wanted to keep the color scheme alive in the furniture and accent pieces.

We finally have a dream kitchen. It really IS perfect. We knew we'd be able to create it in this house the first time we viewed it. We had to reconfigure the stove and sink which made for a bit of a plumbing nightmare, but it all worked out aesthetically and we are enjoying cooking and eating in the same space that's modern and spacious. This was what we wanted when we decided to start house hunting because our condo's kitchen was still small even after we updated the counters and cabinets.

We finally have a dream kitchen. It really IS perfect. We knew we’d be able to create it in this house the first time we viewed it. We had to reconfigure the stove and sink which made for a bit of a plumbing nightmare, but it all worked out aesthetically and we are enjoying cooking and eating in the same space that’s modern and spacious. This was what we wanted when we decided to start house hunting because our condo’s kitchen was still small even after we updated the counters and cabinets.

The living room is not very formal because we're not very formal. We have big dreams to bust out the wall to make it a window and to add a baby grand piano in a corner. This room is our company-is-over-and-we're-finished-in-the-kitchen room. We love to pop in movies on the TV and let Madelyn dance on all the floor space. And Princeton absolutely loves running around and playing fetch with his toys here. It's raised and overlooks the dining room which adds a dramatic vibe to the room.

The living room is not very formal because we’re not very formal. We have big dreams to bust out the wall to make it a window and to add a baby grand piano in a corner. This room is our company-is-over-and-we’re-finished-in-the-kitchen room. We love to pop in movies on the TV and let Madelyn dance on all the floor space. And Princeton absolutely loves running around and playing fetch with his toys here. It’s raised and overlooks the dining room which adds a dramatic vibe to the room.

When we go upstairs, we meet a small landing with four doorways. One is a doorway into Madelyn's bathroom. It's small, but it works. There are two individual sinks that share space with the toilet and tub. So far we don't spend too much time in here, but I hope it's big enough for her and her sibling when they do more "grown up" grooming. But that's a bridge for a much future crossing.

When we go upstairs, we meet a small landing with four doorways. One is a doorway into Madelyn’s bathroom. It’s small, but it works. There are two individual sinks that share space with the toilet and tub. So far we don’t spend too much time in here, but I hope it’s big enough for her and her sibling when they do more “grown up” grooming. But that’s a bridge for a much future crossing.

Madelyn's playroom is filled with toys and storage along the perimeter with lots of floor space. Her bedroom is almost identical to this one, so it'll be nice and easy to fill when there's another little person living in it (again: FUTURE).

Madelyn’s playroom is filled with toys and storage along the perimeter with lots of floor space. Her bedroom is almost identical to this one, so it’ll be nice and easy to fill when there’s another little person living in it (again: FUTURE).

Our bedroom is a decent size, but we took a demotion in closet space and bathroom storage. I thought it would be a bigger problem, but we are making do just fine, although I wouldn't turn away more room from the Closet Fairy. Our furniture worked perfectly and we kept almost all the same decor, including our Phil & Claire Dunphy bedding (shout out to discovering we have a celebrity TV duvet set -- ha!)

Our bedroom is a decent size, but we took a demotion in closet space and bathroom storage. I thought it would be a bigger problem, but we are making do just fine, although I wouldn’t turn away more room from the Closet Fairy. Our furniture worked perfectly and we kept almost all the same decor, including our Phil & Claire Dunphy bedding (shout out to discovering we have a celebrity TV duvet set — ha!)

Madelyn's room is almost exactly the same as it was in our old place which was definitely on purpose. It wasn't so much to keep things easy and predictable for her, but to assuage my own sadness to leave her old room behind. We replicated the pink stripes and butter yellow walls, and the furniture seems to flow in a similar way, too. The room is much smaller than her old room, but it's actually now a normal size bedroom. I really like the space we created in here with the addition of the area rug. I realized I wanted soft floors, but didn't want to rip out the wood flooring that was already set, so I covered it with a rug and I think it all works fine. I wonder if Madelyn even remembers her old room in the condo!

Madelyn’s room is almost exactly the same as it was in our old place which was definitely on purpose. It wasn’t so much to keep things easy and predictable for her, but to assuage my own sadness to leave her old room behind. We replicated the pink stripes and butter yellow walls, and the furniture seems to flow in a similar way, too. The room is much smaller than her old room, but it’s actually now a normal size bedroom. I really like the space we created in here with the addition of the area rug. I realized I wanted soft floors, but didn’t want to rip out the wood flooring that was already set, so I covered it with a rug and I think it all works fine. I wonder if Madelyn even remembers her old room in the condo!

I managed to finish most of our house decorating, take pictures, and create a blog post just in time for Thanksgiving with the timely declaration to say that I am very thankful that we were able to snag a house in which we’ll continue to make dreams come true and watch our family grow. I am thankful for my husband who works tirelessly for us to be able to have this home and for the vision we share for it. And I’m so thankful that Madelyn and Princeton will also make memories here and we can all remain living in the city in which Bryan and I grew up — the perfect place to raise a family.

November 14, 2013

It’s My Potty and I’ll Pee If I Want To

by Alison Friedman in Marvelous Madelyn, Mommy's Musings

You know what doesn’t piss me off? A 2.3 year-old who asks, “Mummy, may I please go to the loo?” Ok, well Madelyn doesn’t speak with a little girl English accent, but how cute would that be? And I also think we need to start saying “loo” much more often in ‘Murica.

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Madelyn does, however, tell me: “Sissy! Potty! Mama! Sissy!” It’s more of a demand than a question — she WILL go sissy! Sissy! In the potty! Potty, Mama, NOW.

So who am I to deny my little ready toddler a diaper-free life?

I am a busy mom with a fear of public restrooms. You should see me work a restroom anywhere outside my house: I break out of there without touching a thing with my own bare hands, so you better believe that managing a curious and gropey two-year-old in a bathroom gives me anxiety to the ceiling.

Therefore, I really like diapers. They’re self-containing. I’m in control. And oh, they smell so good (pre-soiled. Duh. I love that fresh-out-of-the-box powdery, sweet, baby smell).

I’ve decided that at the moment, Madelyn is potty training me. She began showing an interest in the potty about four months ago when she began stripping all the time. At first, I thought maybe it was just a slight leaning toward her future career, but then I realized that the clothes and diaper would come off when she was wet or wet+, which made for a really fun clean-up job (think: gorilla. zoo. poop.). It dawned on me that Madelyn did not like being in her own waste, so I bought her a potty chair to try whenever she felt like it.

At first, she sat on it, fully clothed, and just talked away, playing with toys and singing songs. Then she started sitting her baby dolls on the potty and started to narrate what they were doing: “Deedee (baby) sissy on potty!” This told me she was fascinated with the whole potty concept and she’d been paying attention to her family members who allowed her front row seats as a spectator for grown-up potty events.

Hi, Baby! Urine good company!

Hi, Baby! Urine good company!

Then one night before bed, I asked her if she’d like to try to make sissy on the potty. I expected nothing. But sure enough, a few tinkle-tinkles later, and she looked up at me, shocked, and we had a party. A potty party! I praised her like crazy, we did high-fives, I gave her a zillion hugs and kisses, my voice went up 32 octaves, and we danced it out. It was a really fun first experience. And then my instinct was to reinforce it positively with an M&M because, really, if you gave me an M&M anytime I did something you wanted me to do, I would never not do what you want me to do!

I realize how Pavlovian this is and I was one click away from treating her like a dog at obedience school, but the M&M was both celebratory and behavior enforcement. Madelyn learned very quickly that a successful sissy would earn her one M&M in the color of her choice (99% of the time, her pick is “weh-wo”).

These days, Madelyn has been making sissy in the potty about three times a day. She’s still wearing diapers, and we are not close to giving them up entirely, but she’s become extremely comfortable with the whole routine. I usually don’t even ask her if she has to go anymore. She usually just tells me except for this week when I was cleaning my own bathroom, and she saw me attach a new roll of TP. Her eyes got wide, her voice excitedly said, as if she was just reminded, “Oh!” and ran out of my bathroom. I figured she was going to play with one of her baby dolls, but I heard her grunting and talking to herself as she was trying to remove her jeggings and diaper and I walked in on a very satisfied Madelyn who was mid-tinkle on her potty. She’s making connections and it’s really amazing to witness.

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I think we’re probably a month or two away from battening down the hatches and doing an intense 3-day potty boot camp. I think that will be the finishing touch to get her out of diapers and I like that she will already be so comfortable with the whole potty exercise. Sometimes I question if I’m doing this right — as if there’s only one way or one correct answer — but I go with my mommy gut and tell myself that this current set-up is teaching Madelyn independence at her own pace and hey, look, no public restroom fiascos to deal with.

I know she’s not going to be walking down the aisle with a diaper underneath her wedding dress, and I know she’s going to be entering preschool with a pretty strong sense of how it all works, so I’m not living in any great fear that I must get on the potty training train OR ELSE, OMG.

We read a cute book called The Potty Book that she requests every night before bed and narrates all the illustrations. She’s super stoked about the idea of undies and has already decided that she wants Diddie Rouse and Ariel on them when it’s her turn to wear them. And don’t get me started on the M&Ms as it’s her new favorite food group.

I think she’ll master making sissy on the potty without the diaper safety net pretty quickly and soon enough, we’ll be tip-toeing through the public restrooms while I have my daughter’s hands restrained in a straitjacket and a hurricane of antibacterial spray surrounding her like the polar opposite of the dude from “Peanuts” with the dirt cloud constantly around him (does anyone ever know what that kid’s name is?)

And then we’ll get to do it all over again with the poops. Shit.

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Comments (1):
  1. Mimi
    11/14/2013 3:48 PM

    Madelyn, you are so smart!
    Just a warning—be prepared that when you are in a public restroom, not only when you’re with Mommy, but also when you’re with Mimi, you will hear these words, “Don’t touch anything! Don’t touch the door! Don’t touch the walls!” many times. 😉
    Love you! xoxox

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