October 27, 2011

Shots All Around

by Alison Friedman in Marvelous Madelyn, Mommy's Musings

One of these things is not like the other: DTaP, PCV, IPV, Tequila.

They’re all shots, but the last one will be foreign to Madelyn until her first college party. The first three, however, made an appearance at her 2-month checkup in early October.

She had her regular physical first and checked out great.

She was calm and content the whole time. No whining, no fussiness, no discomfort. Our happy little Madelyn was more than pleased to be weighed and measured and pressed on and poked at. Easy shmeasy.

She probably thought she was getting out free and clear of any trauma, but what she didn’t know was that life was about to majorly suck. I felt like I had betrayed her with a happy-go-lucky morning on the doctor’s butcher paper table, but truth is, she was about to get butchered.

Her 2-month vaccinations started off with a taste of rotavirus vaccine. I imagine it doesn’t take like sugar and chocolate, but I’m sure it was a welcome change from formula and she lapped it right up.

I clenched my fingers as I knew the worst was yet to come. I saw the tray of three Band-Aids and three needles and held my breath in anticipation. Madelyn just hung out at the table, her big brown eyes looking around, with twitches of smiles coming from her happy mouth and then WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT THE $&@% WAS THAAAAAAAAAAT (I imagine Madelyn to swear in symbols).

She let out an immediate shriek like I’d never heard. In fact, I bet Princeton heard it at home, not because dogs have freaky deaky high pitched hearing, but because it really was just that loud. She was startled three times by these needles and she screamed so loud with each prick, I swear I could see her lungs coming out of her mouth.

I’ve often heard the shots are worse for the mommy than they are for the baby, and while I certainly didn’t enjoy watching my daughter get traumatized by modern medicine, I knew it would be temporary and that, in the end, it would be good for her.

Good thing is, unlike her mother, she recovers well. Madelyn stopped crying after a few minutes and then slept the rest of the day away. She was a cuddler, which I selfishly enjoyed, and I made sure to comfort and soothe her the few times she woke up a little irritated.

So, we both survived her first shots, but in December, when we go back for her 4-month check up, she’s going to reunite with those needles again. And this is why kids hate going to the pediatrician!

The worst part about the whole thing is that she’s too young to leave with a lollipop from the front desk. But don’t worry — mama got her Dumdum.

Comments (1):
  1. K
    10/28/2011 9:49 PM

    She’s soooooo cute! Fiona can’t wait to meet her! One of these days….

October 12, 2011

The New Kid

by Alison Friedman in Tails from Princeton

So, the new kid arrived. Unlike all the other new things that come to the house, the man in the brown uniform didn’t ring the bell and leave it at the doorstep for me to bark at incessantly. It just kind of appeared and without any warning. Unless all those months of “Ohhh you don’t know what you’re in for!” followed by a pat on the head was considered my warning. But, warning or not, it’s here.

The new kid sleeps a lot. There’s a lot of chatter about not waking a sleeping baby. They also say similar dumb phrases in regards to me when I’m snoozing. Something about letting sleeping dogs lie? But anyway, it’s kind of boring and stays pretty quiet usually.

But then there are the times when it screams louder than I do when my tail gets stepped on. Oh my Dog, it screams so loud! Usually, it screams after it’s been sleeping for a long time and it won’t stop until they shove food in its mouth. Funny, because the food is not in a bowl that it sticks its head into like I have to do. Methinks there is some favoritism.

It also screams when it’s up on the table with its legs apart. I can smell something delicious whenever that happens, but I wonder if something’s wrong with my nose because they’re always saying how gross it smells. I hope I’m not mistaken and my terrier nose is not failing me at such a young age because it really does smell as lovely as the fire hydrants, the grass on my walk, and the trash I sometimes get into when they’re not looking (suckers).

Oh, and speaking of walk, it looks as though we have company. Finally, she’s walking again after having a gigantic stomach for the past 40 or so weeks. It’s about time. Someone must have told her she was looking quite round and now she’s walking and bringing her with me again, which on one hand is glorious, but on the other hand, I have to share a sidewalk with the new kid which is in a mini car I constantly have to dodge. The first few times she brought me and the kid out on a walk with her, I got tangled up in the wheels and shrieked and then got yelled at for “not being careful.” Well excuse me! I am in a hurry. I must get to the tree and make sure everyone knows it’s mine before the new kid gets to it. I’m learning, though, that the new kid is not interested in claiming the trees, so I’m a little more relaxed on the walks now. Oh, and her stomach went back to normal after the kid got here, so obviously the walks are working.

The new kid now sleeps in its own room and the best part is that when I want a place to hide and have some “me” time, I go under its cage and lay there watching their feet walk around. A long time ago, before I got here, I used to be in a cage and it was really dark and quite uncomfortable. The new kid’s cage is really nice. It’s white and has colorful (so I’m told. I’m colorblind) patterns draping from it. And best of all, it’s open on top. Lucky! My cage never had an open top.

Once in a while, they take the kid and lay it on its stomach on a soft blanket and I like to lay down next to it and get my fair share of the cushiony comfort. They always try to take my picture when I do this and squeal things like, “Look how cute!” and “Ohhh he loves her!” I don’t know what any of this means. Really, I just like the soft blanket.

But I think I don’t mind the new kid anyway. I mean, it hasn’t done anything to me! I’m doing just fine. I still get my food. I still get the belly scratches and the walks. I still have to perform my stupid tricks to get the beef-flavored treats. And at the end of the day, who’s the one that still sleeps in the big bed between them and tucked in all cozy-like in the pillows?

Me.

Comments (4):
  1. Patty
    10/14/2011 8:55 PM

    Alison…ahem…excuse me…Princeton, I love this!!! You are a very insightful boy and the new kid is very lucky to have you. It appears certain, that you will be an adoring big brother for many years to come!! Love you Princeton!! Tell your mom and dad that your first foster mommy is so thrilled for you all!!!!:)

  2. Mimi
    10/14/2011 12:37 PM

    That’s Princeton for ya—he just goes with the flow. And he aims to please—and succeeds! Love you so much Princeton!

  3. nicole
    10/12/2011 10:12 PM

    so sweet. you need to get these all published in a book! ali you are one talented writer! I have said it, and will continue to say it.

  4. Cathy
    10/12/2011 9:44 PM

    Oooooooo!

October 11, 2011

Two Months!

by Alison Friedman in Marvelous Madelyn, Mommy's Musings, Monthiversaries

As of October 9th, Madelyn is now two months old and we are driving a pretty steady pace on the parenting highway with only a couple stop lights or lane changes here and there. I’d say we’re doing okay! Now that I’m much more healed, we are taking turns meeting all of Madelyn’s eating, sleeping, and diaper changing needs. Dare I say it? She’s a pretty easy baby with a lovely little personality. She’s not too demanding and we absolutely love being with her and staring at her every molecule.


This month, Madelyn…

  • started to smile! Be still, my heart! It’s the most marvelous thing my two brown eyes have ever seen!
  • began to coo! She makes these adorable little sounds and whether they’re intentional or not, I don’t care. They are freakin’ adorable and I swear we have coherent conversations and banter.
  • lost a lot of her monkey hair. She is less of an ape and more of a human being which is good for her future boyfriends. She was born with a lot of lanugo still on her shoulders, but it’s almost all gone now.
  • improved her tummy time game face by lifting her head at a 45 degree angle. She’s got strong head and neck muscles, that’s for sure. She doesn’t completely hate tummy time as long as we catch her in a good mood. We love when Princeton comes to lay with her on the tummy time blanket.
  • battled diaper rash! And it’s still going strong. We’ve tried zillions of products and executed all the methods. Her pediatrician now thinks the diaper rash is caused by her poops thanks to a change of formula. I tell ya, it’s always something in this household. So, we changed to “hippie diapers.” I call them hippie diapers because they’re all natural and free and clear of pretty much anything man-made. The worst part is that there’s no wetness indicator so we actually have to [gasp!] physically check to see if it’s a dirty diaper. But the best part is that these new hippie diapers are helping and hopefully the rash goes away and stays away thanks to going a naturale and changing her formula to accommodate her milk protein allergy.
  • went to her first services at temple. She enjoyed all the music during High Holy Day services and was less fidgety than most adults in there. Actually, she wasn’t fidgety at all. She just sat in her stroller and looked around or snoozed. Everyone remarked how good she was and we’re glad to know we can bring her to more services in the future. She’s basically a rabbi already.
  • grew some cheeks and chins. She’s looking a little more cherubic now and has these adorable cheeks that look chipmunk-ish. I swear she’s storing nuts in them for winter. It’s because of these cheeks and chins — yes, plural chin — that she might look a little more like me. Thankfully, she still has Bryan’s long and lean body and what nice Jewish girl doesn’t want legs and arms like that?
  • became a TV star. Well, she’s not getting her star on Hollywood Boulevard just yet, but the series finale of “All My Children” aired on September 23rd on which she played Erica Kane as an infant. There she was, her face at the very beginning of the show. She had 12 seconds of 100% close-up and looked great on television. It was really a hoot to see our kid on a TV show playing the baby version of the most famous soap opera diva. Insane!

At two months, Madelyn weighed 10 pounds and 4 ounces (haha 10-4, over and out, Roger) and measured 23 inches long. She’s on track developmentally and her doctor is happy with her overall health. And we’re just happy with her. Overall!

Happy 2 months, Madelyn!

Comments (5):
  1. Jan Glasband
    10/13/2011 8:04 AM

    YUMMY!!!!

  2. ashleigh
    10/11/2011 10:05 PM

    “she’s basically a rabbi already.” HILARIOUS.

  3. Mimi
    10/11/2011 8:35 PM

    Happy 2 Month Birthday, sweet Madelyn! It’ll be fun to see you fill out in that chair with each month.
    Love, Mimi

  4. Alison
    10/11/2011 8:31 PM

    Cathy, we TRIED to get Princeton into the picture but he was hiding under the crib. I think he was frightened of his Daddy who was running back and forth from the camera timer to the posing spot. It was kind of ridiculous. Princeton was like, “You guys, chill out” and wanted nothing to do with our shenanigans to get the perfect timer picture!

  5. Cathy
    10/11/2011 7:54 PM

    Friedman parentals, I am thinking it’s time for Princeton’s stand in to be fired….where is the real deal??? He is part of the family too!!! -____- And I used the REAL Hippie diapers for my lil Hippie, Bailey….cloth!!! Yes Di Dee Diaper service came to my Hippie Hut once a week, dropped off a fresh batch and hauled away the soiled. Her rashes went buh bye!!!
    🙂

October 9, 2011

What A Dad Loves

by Bryan Friedman in Daddy's Corner

I’ve been a dad for exactly two months now, and thanks to my amazingly talented writer of a wife, you know that so much has already happened. In just these two short months I’ve learned so much. Yes, I’ve learned a lot about babies and parenting and diapers and bottles, but I’ve learned a lot about myself too.

Becoming a dad fulfills a dream for me and so far it truly has been an amazing experience. Although we’ve had a bit of a tumultuous ride if you look at things from a certain angle, I think that having a child seriously makes you put things into perspective and view everything that happens in a bit of a different light. It’s funny — I’ve hardly stayed angry or felt negative about much of anything for more than a few minutes. One look at Madelyn’s face, even if she’s crying, makes me wonder what there really is to be upset about.

It all sounds cliche and perhaps a bit too rosy, but for me, so far, it’s true. What I’ve loved about being a dad so far are all the moments I get to observe and the family time I get to enjoy. Here are the things I’ve grown to love in my early tenure as a father…

Watching Alison Be A Mom
One of the things I was excited about throughout the whole pregnancy was the chance to see my wife become a mother. Watching the woman I love transform into the mother she has become has not disappointed. To see her in action truly inspires me. It’s really amazing to watch those mom instincts kick in as she tackles a diaper rash, picks out an outfit or rushes to feed the baby. When I walk in on her holding Madelyn, rocking or bouncing with her and singing songs to her…well, I pretty much just completely melt. If it’s possible to “fall in love with someone all over again,” I think I probably have fallen in love with Alison again about ten times in the past month alone. Plus, I don’t care what she says, she’s never been sexier to me than she is now. (Okay, maybe on our wedding night…)

IMG_3504

Taking Care Of My Family
For the first few weeks of our parenthood, during Alison’s rough recovery and the tough nights taking care of both her and the baby, I sort of had to go on autopilot. I was doing so much during that time that when I look back at it, I am seriously not even sure how I was able to do it. I guess it was my own dad instincts that helped me get through it. (Well, that, and also some seriously super grandparents!) Anyway, I’m happy to have gone through that experience because it helped me become a calm and confident parent. Now that I’m back at work and Alison and I are both running at full capacity, it’s such an enjoyable experience…even when it gets crazy and insane. Alison and I have always made a great marriage team but now to share in parenting duties as a team, I can honestly say I’d put us up against any other parents any day of the week. 😉 It’s fun when we just get into that mode where we barely have to talk to each other but we are reading each other’s minds and we orchestrate a diaper change or a feeding together. I think we may be more efficient at getting out of the house with Madelyn now than we ever were at getting out of the house just the two of us. It is really some kind of awesome.

IMG_7621Photo by Sara Marie Photography

Coming Home From Work
After three weeks of being home just after the birth, I finally had to go back to work. I had originally planned for three weeks just because I was lucky enough to be able to take that much, but it turned out I really needed all of that time. I was not too happy about going back, but luckily we had fallen into something of a routine so I felt okay leaving Alison at home…it was just that I didn’t want to miss anything! So of course, there is nothing like walking in the door around 6pm to discover what state things are in. Sometimes Princeton runs to me to greet me and I come in to see a calm household with Alison quietly enjoying Madelyn. Other times Princeton runs to me for help as if to say, “Make the chaos stop please,” and I hear the screaming upstairs where I find Alison wrangling with a tough diaper change or some squirmy tummy time. Either way it’s a lovely surprise for me — I join the peace or help calm the crazy.

Taking Pictures
You already know I feel it’s my duty to document this kid’s life story. She changes so much every day and every moment is so fleeting it seems impossible to keep up. This commercial practically made me cry when I first saw it on television for exactly that reason. I just feel like I can never get quite the right picture like I want. I wish I could capture more moments and make every picture better. Still, I guess I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far.

IMG_3836

Sharing Experiences
Getting to share all these new parenting and baby experiences with Alison is of course a huge thrill. But it’s even more fun to watch so many of our close friends go through the same experiences at almost exactly the same time. We have at least a dozen friends that are experiencing the first few months of either their first or second baby, and it’s so fun to “network” with them…people we’ve known for what seems like forever, and we are now all having kids. It’s so crazy.

Spending Time With Madelyn
It’s pretty neat how quickly you get to know your child. Within a few weeks we already figured out what Madelyn liked and what would help her sleep. (Of course, we had a little help from Dr. Karp.) Even when I’m annoyed at 4am when she starts to wimper as if to say “Okay guys, I’m hungry now,” or when I’m just about dressed with hands washed and sooooooo tired at 4:05am when she is wailing like “Why the *$&^*% aren’t you guys feeding me already?,” once I get in the room and pick her up, I just don’t really care what time it is anymore. Then there’re those evenings when I sit by her crib and soothe her to sleep…I feel so victorious when I get her to finally fall! So rewarding! And of course those mornings, right after feeding her, when I bring her in to hang out with the whole family and she coos and stares at the ceiling fan after Princeton tries to lick her and give her even more love than we do. I mean these are the moments. I love it.

Daddy and Madelyn

Comments (1):
  1. Ellen/Grandma
    10/10/2011 7:17 AM

    It’s been pretty amazing watching you, Bry. You are a natural. Who knew? So proud!

October 8, 2011

Healing A Wound

by Alison Friedman in Mommy's Musings, Stupid Infection

Today is Yom Kippur. This Jewish holiday marks the beginning of a clean slate for the new year. On Yom Kippur, we are supposed to right our wrongs and forgive those who have let us down. I’m not sure I’ll be able to wholly forgive and forget my rocky start to my postpartum experience, but as my physical wound heals, so must my emotional wound. It’s time I concentrate on what matters now instead of dwelling on the past.

Some women have difficult pregnancies. Some women have bumpy labors. I’m a woman who had green lights on the whole baby mama highway, but after Madelyn was born, I crashed into a rail, tumbled over a cliff, and rolled into a murky water. It’s been a very difficult ride for me due to the infection I got in the hospital that was dismissed and negated by the on-call physician, Dr. Shlub. For weeks, I couldn’t hold my daughter due to the pain at my fresh incision and I missed out on crucial bonding time. I know Madelyn was in great hands while I was absent and healing, and she will never know of any suffering, but I know I was cheated out of my experience. That hurts more than my open wound.

I’m not breastfeeding. This is a tough subject for me because I always planned on nursing my baby. I was breastfed and I’ve always heard my mom tell me what an awesome experience it was. I was so looking forward to developing that similar relationship with Madelyn. We had our rough moments starting out as most mothers and new babies do, but we finally got our groove on! It was fabulous. We were flowing and she was filling. Chug chug chug and then, bam! Infection and pain up the wazoo. No nursing position was comfortable. I was awake every two to three hours to feed while I was trying to heal. My energy was at a zero and my motivation went kaput. I didn’t want to quit and really had no intentions to, but my doctor told me that healing should be my first priority and if I was in pain or feeling stress from my incision infection while nursing, it wasn’t healthy for either of us. She gave me permission to stop, and after a lot of deliberation, I did. I needed to become healthy because I was no good to Madelyn if I wasn’t.

With every drop of leaked milk on its way out of me, I cried. And cried and cried. I knew breast milk was the best milk for my daughter — at least that’s what I’d always heard — and doesn’t every mom want the best for her children? Some women choose not to breastfeed and I support that just as much as I support those who do. I’m not a lactivist. I was just a mom looking for a unique experience and to provide the best I could for Madelyn. At this point, the best thing for Madelyn was a healthy mom and food any way she could get it. The pediatrician recommended a formula and that hungry little baby gulped it down. She never knew the difference and she was a happy camper. She continued to gain weight and was thriving just fine. Of course, that’s all I cared and still care about. Grow, little Madelyn, grow!

But I mourned. I still do. I looked in the mirror at myself and would think, “I failed me.” My blood boils and my ears resemble an angry, steaming Donald Duck when I think about what could have been. Sure, I might have been exhausted and annoyed about nursing around the clock or submitting myself to the “whoosh whoosh” of the boob juicer, but I never expected it to be a breeze or any sort of convenience. Instead, as I get my six hours of sleep and whip out a bottle of shaken-not-stirred, cow’s milk goodness in a public place, I rejoice in the ease of feeding, but I sulk in the absence of providing. Yes, I know, I’m still providing. Our hard-earned dollars are providing cans of powder via Diapers.com and Babies R Us, but it was ME who wanted to provide. ME. Not my credit card.

And then there’s the guilt. I did nothing wrong, so why do I feel guilt? Why does breastfeeding have to carry such a heavy stigma of guilt or shame when it’s not practiced? And don’t get me started on the jealousy! I see babies attached to their mothers, and I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. Not a hard violent kick. Just a breathlessness of sorts and then my stomach turns and aches. It’s beautiful and I’m thrilled for their relationship — really, I am! — but I still wish I had that, too. All I have to do, though, is look over at my happy baby and it’s fine. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine! Deep breaths. Leveled.

I went on Celexa. I’m still taking it. Dr. Fiiiine thought it would be the best thing for me and I agree. I’m not ashamed of it and that shit works (no, the sales rep did not take me to lunch or shower me with theater tickets for the endorsement). Hormones + shitty recovery from an infected c-section incision = happy pills. I’m feeling better now and I don’t cry eighty-seven times a day so that’s definitely a good indication that there’s something to the drug. I also know that my wound is healing well and I’m no longer in pain 24/7. Madelyn is the cutest baby to ever exist on this planet and my husband is the most awesome father. Things are on the way up. Thanks to the pill? Nah. The pill just allowed me to see this. Forest. Trees. That whole thing. I’m not sure how long I’ll be on it. I’ll admit, I’m afraid to find out what it feels like to be off of it, but I think it will probably be okay. Once the home care nurse stops coming to my house and Dr. Fiiiine has declared me healed, we’ll talk about weaning. I’m in no hurry, but I also don’t want to be on it forever. I’m just taking it, literally, one day at a time. Eventually, postpartum depression has to become past postpartum depression.

So, I know hate is a strong word, but I think I’d still use it in the same sentence to describe my feelings about Dr. Shlub. Without hesitation, I dump all the blame on him for stomping all over my woulda-shoulda-coulda after Madelyn arrived. But I also know that isn’t going to get me anywhere. Which brings me back to Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year. This has really been my holiest year… period. I’m not kidding. I have a c-section hole below my belly button where my baby came out and it’s still open. It’s closing, though, little by little thanks to the daily medical care I’ve been receiving since August 19th. Dr. Fiiiine says we probably have just a few more weeks of packing the wound before we can call it a day. Or, approximately 80 days. I’m promising myself that when it’s closed, and my crooked abdominal scar is complete, I will stop looking back with such sadness and resentment and try to realize that I’m stronger for overcoming extreme hurdles.

Forgive on Yom Kippur? Ehhh, not really ready to do that. Forget? No, not happening either. Start anew with a fresh outlook? That I can do.

Comments (2):
  1. Aunt Pattie
    10/9/2011 1:47 PM

    You certainly did have a rough start with your baby girl! I think I’d print this and send to Dr Schlub and make him realize what his lazy ass caused a new mommy!!

  2. Elissa
    10/8/2011 10:58 PM

    Honest and awesome post, Alison. I am in total awe of your strength. You seriously rock.

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