Many months before Madelyn was born, I realized that becoming a father meant that my responsibility as an amateur photographer and filmmaker increased significantly. Well, when it comes to capturing moments, I think I’ve been doing pretty well for the most part – of course along with a lot of help from both sets of grandparents and an already very photo-conscious mommy. Over the past 16 months, we’ve taken [tens of] thousands of photos and [a few] hours of footage and they have all been shared [possibly too] liberally with friends and family on Facebook as well as right here on this blog.

I do feel that there is one thing that’s been missing though – Madelyn’s “First Year” video. I mean, my version of this video was just basically my dad using the camcorder for a couple of mornings and afternoons and stringing all the footage together sequentially on the same VHS tape. It wasn’t exactly a creative masterpiece but at least it was all contained and easily accessible (as long as you had a VCR). Now, most of our videos are scattered across iPhones and they are all two or three minute clips that are perfect for YouTube but hardly worthy of snuggling up on the couch with Madelyn and a bowl of popcorn and watching in sequence so we can reminisce about the early years. All these video clips and pictures need to come together in a single sensory masterpiece.

As you might have guessed, I’ve already begun working on it. In fact, the plan was to have it ready by Madelyn’s first birthday, but of course, no one ever really thought that would happen. With any luck, though, maybe I’ll have it ready by her second birthday and perhaps I could even extend it to be Madelyn’s “First Two Years” video. If my four-year honeymoon video project is any indication, though, I may actually be working on Madelyn’s “Pre-Kindergarten Years” video.

Well, luckily, I’m not a complete failure. I have been able to pull together a great opening sequence for whichever version of Madelyn’s “First Year[s]” video ultimately gets completed. It covers the first five days of Madelyn’s life in photos, video, and music. Of course, while this may seem like a small achievement, rest assured that the amount of available content is slightly skewed toward the beginning of M’s life – we were all a bit camera happy back then. So the good news is that while I still have [at least] 360 days left to cover, I’m hoping it won’t take me as long to put it all together.

So, enjoy the first few days of Madelyn’s life and have fun being as amazed as I am by just how small she once was:

(If you watch this and feel like you may have seen it before, perhaps you’ve followed this blog for a while and are just having a little deja vu.)

This past weekend was my sister’s wedding. Both Alison and I were honored to be in the wedding party as Maid[tron] of Honor and Groomsmen respectively, but the real honor was Madelyn’s as she got to walk down the aisle as the cutest Flower Girl around. Though we had been looking forward to this event for many months, I know Alison and I were also a little bit nervous about how Madelyn would do during the weekend’s festivities. There’s rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, getting ready, photos, ceremony, reception — it’s a lot for a 14-month old to take in, let alone how much her parents would have to take in while taking care of her. Luckily, Madelyn had her own entourage (read: baby wranglers), Mimi and Poppa (Alison’s parents), on the scene to offer all their help, and no doubt we were going to need it. Let’s not forget, Alison was staying overnight with the bridesmaids on Saturday, so although Madelyn’s Mimi and Poppa were there to help during the events, the homefront was now my responsibility for two days.

Everything started on Saturday, the day of the rehearsal and dinner. Though my job as Groomsmen required very little, on this day I did have a few very important responsibilities as Husband-of-the-Maid[tron]-of-Honor and Father-of-the-Flower-Girl. I had to ensure Madelyn got a good morning nap, show up on time (read: early) to the rehearsal with Madelyn and everything we would need for her (and us) in tow, cooperate with the coordinator during the rehearsal while helping Madelyn’s entourage take care of her and watching Alison run around doing her duties as Maid[tron] of Honor, take Madelyn home for a quick nap before getting her (and me) ready for the rehearsal *dinner* where I would still need to show up on time (early) with her and everything we would need, including the ” target=”_new”>tribute video I made for my sister and her now husband. Breathe, Bryan, breathe.

On the surface, this day didn’t need to be stressful, and I can honestly say it really wasn’t. Alison, being the super mom and savvy wedding professional that she is, laid everything out for me on the homefront and made sure I was prepped for success, as any good manager will do. I managed to succeed in all of my duties, except Madelyn didn’t quite cooperate on the napping front. A little bit here and a little bit there, but not the solid naps I was hoping for. So of course, she was an absolute mess at the rehearsal, crying and screaming her way down the aisle until we shoved the bottle in her mouth during round two so her cousin Abby could carry her down the aisle.

But after a change of scenery, she was a total trooper at the rehearsal dinner, even with the food coming out late, lots of unfamiliar faces, and one tired little toddler. She made it through the whole night and finally expired around 9:30pm when she just couldn’t be “on” anymore and started her “put-me-to-bed-right-now-daddy-or-I’m-seriously-going-to-lose-it-even-more-than-I’m-losing-it-right-now” cry. So I took her home, put her to bed, and readied myself for the next day, which would be similar to this day but on a much grander scale. More to bring with me, more time away from naps, more pressure to perform.

Thankfully, Madelyn is a total rock star. I was somehow able to bring everything we needed for myself and for Madelyn, show up early, get ready with the guys, help Alison get Madelyn ready, take pictures, hang out with everybody, walk down the aisle, greet everyone, take care of Madelyn, and have a ton of fun all at the same time, or at least in sequence.

In all my 14 months of being a father, I have to say, I have never enjoyed being Madelyn’s dad as much I did from the time the reception started to the time she was completely conked out in her stroller as the band played their last few numbers. It was so amazing to witness her taking it all in. I literally got to experience the wedding through her eyes as I focused so much of my time and energy making sure she had a fun time. At the dinner table she sat with me, eating off of my plate and gobbling up the sliced fruit I prepared for her earlier that day (thanks to Mommy’s preparation list). On the dance floor she danced with me, both in my arms and on the dance floor.

Aside from my sister, the beautiful bride, I’m pretty sure Madelyn was the next most watched girl in the room, as people were fascinated by her dancing. I’m thinking of patenting her go to dance move — the slight knee-bending bounce while sticking the arms just a little bit outward, every so often just taking a tumble and then getting back up to do it again. It’s “The Madelyn,” and it’s taking over for the Macarena and the Cupid Shuffle.

Between dancing with my daughter and the incredible band, I literally have never had so much fun at a wedding. I would say, to date, it was my most rewarding night as a father. And it was a pretty rewarding night for me as a husband too — those times where Mimi and Poppa or Grandma and Grandpa would watch Madelyn for a few precious moments so Alison and I could share some wedding party time alone together. Is there anything that makes you feel the love more than a freaking wedding?!?

Looking back on it, I really had such a great weekend because I got to enjoy playing all the different roles of my life — a dad, a husband, a son, a brother, a groomsman, a family member, a friend … and a wedding guest. After hearing the truly heartfelt and touching vows from my sister and her husband, I can honestly say I’m so, so happy for them that they each found the one they love to spend the rest of their life with. I found my own “one” seven years ago and could never have imagined a weekend like the one we just shared together, with our daughter, and so many people who love us. It’s always nice to get a reminder of how lucky I am and what a great life my wife and I have built together.

Congratulations Alison and Michael, and thanks for an amazing party!

This past weekend, Alison went away for a few days with her girls, leaving Madelyn and me home alone to fend for ourselves. We did not have the usual services that mom provides, like picking out outfits, preparing dinner, and basically just making all decisions — my main reason for marrying a good Jewish wife in the first place. Luckily, I felt up to the task and was actually excited to spend the weekend with my daughter, just the two of us (and Princeton). I mean, it was only two and a half days, so I couldn’t screw things up too badly.

I remember the few times I got to stay home with just my dad when my mom was gone, it was like being at work when the boss is out. I had all the cliches — pizza for dinner, staying up late, watching rated-R movies — it was awesome. Of course, I was older than Madelyn is now, so it was definitely different. But I was still excited to be a single dad for the weekend. The last time I was “on my own” with Madelyn for more than a few hours at a nostalgic time for me — the first month or so of Madelyn’s life when Alison was recovering and I was working overtime as a stay-at-home dad/husband. Though it seemed so overwhelming at the time, everything was so laughably easy back then given that Madelyn could barely move and basically only wanted to drink milk, poop, or sleep at any given point. Of course, things are so much more complicated now with not just milk to digest, Madelyn constantly on the move, and a whole host of extra things to take care of. But I’ve watched my wife, the master mom, do it so many times that I wasn’t even slightly worried.

Thankfully, neither was she. I was grateful not to have to navigate through sticky notes of instructions spread all around the house as I recall my dad having to do when I was little. Things may be more complicated now, but we’re not quite to the point of schlepping to soccer practice or dance class yet — no crazy schedules to keep or random bits of information to keep track of. M has her routine, and it’s one that Alison and I have a pretty good handle on by now. I like to take over a lot of the caretaker duties on Saturdays anyway since I don’t get to spend as much time doing it during the week. So Alison knew I’d be fine, and I was.

I left a little bit early from work on Friday to take over for Mimi and Poppa, who came over for a brief gap-filling afternoon shift so I could finish up my work day. I had scheduled some hangout time with my friend Brian that evening, but Madelyn and I spent the afternoon together. We hung out downstairs, fiddling with our toys — her with her Elmo doll in her playpen, me with my new TV on the wall. After her afternoon nap, it was time for dinner. Alison and I try to keep Madelyn eating healthy (even if I somehow can’t keep myself eating healthy), so it was chicken sausage and vegetables on Madelyn’s highchair tray.

Though I tried to keep her up long enough to see her Uncle Brian, she just couldn’t make it, and it was time for bed. Like the master sleeper that she is, she went down easy, leaving just enough time to clean up the house for my guests and pretend like it’s always that clean. I had a fun, late night chatting it up and went to sleep wondering how Alison does this every day…and I only had a half day!

On Saturday, after some play time and a morning nap, I picked out Madelyn’s outfit (by myself!) and it was off to Grandma’s house for a fun-filled day with Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Ali, soon-to-be-Uncle Michael, and cousins Steve and Chris, whose 60th birthday we celebrated. It was nice to have some extra help, of course, and Madelyn loved crawling around a more spacious house, performing for a larger crowd. Madelyn played, napped, then played some more as we sang some guitar-accompanied songs with her and had a fabulous dinner that she helped us gobble up.

When it was time for Madelyn to go to sleep, she went to sleep as usual, and when it was time for me to go to sleep, I scooped her up, put her in the car seat, drove home, then scooped her up again and put her in her crib. Amazingly, she didn’t complain one bit. No whining. No crying. No milk. Nothing. She just went right back to sleep each time.

I love her so much.

On our last day together, we started off the day with breakfast and Sesame Street (already a weekend morning tradition by this point) followed by the usual morning nap. Then it was off to meet Uncle Kevin and Aunt Lisa at our favorite brunch location (and yours too I hope) — Brent’s Deli! It’s always fun seeing Kevin and Lisa, especially at Brent’s. We had a grand old time as Madelyn entertained us the whole time.

One thing that was really funny was watching a couple who showed up a few minutes after I did with a baby about Madelyn’s age. They followed the same routine I did! 1) High chair cover, 2) Plastic sticky-back placemat, 3) Puffs (same brand), 4) Little bits of food from adult plate, 5) Oops!…Move the knife, 6) Repeat steps 3-5. It was validation that I was doing everything right. It’s like Alison taught both me and them what to do before she left.

The fun parts of the weekend were over as Madelyn and I headed home. During the final afternoon nap, I cleaned the house and readied everything for Alison’s grand return. It’s always nice to come home to a clean house, so I wanted to use the down time and take the opportunity to make sure that’s what happened. After a nice long nap, Madelyn woke up, had some leftovers from Friday night, then it was time for a nice…long…bath. This kid was a mess and I couldn’t let her mom see her like this. So a few scrubs and washes later, we concluded our time together and Madelyn went to sleep, hardly realizing what a feat her father had just accomplished. And the next morning, she’d wake up to see her mommy and forget all about our fun weekend together.

Especially now as Madelyn is turning one, I know I will remember this weekend fondly for a long time. Of course by our next weekend together she’ll most definitely be walking and talking, but this weekend together was just a fantastic reminder of what a great ride this year has been…and how much I love being Maddie’s Daddy.

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

The two years before Alison got pregnant, from 2009-2010, Alison and I saw 65 shows at various theatres across the country, performed or participated in five community theatre productions collectively, and attended probably about 30-40 baseball games at Dodger Stadium. That’s without getting into the details of the late nights out at Friday’s after the performances, the fun trips to New York where we saw 20% of the shows, or the long amount of time we were at the ballpark during a game (usually from batting practice until the players left the field).

I’m not saying Alison and I had a completely crazy social life — it’s not like we went out on the town clubbing or barhopping every Friday and Saturday night — but we did like to have a good time with friends and enjoy some of our favorite activities together — particularly theatre, baseball, and vacationing.

Well, when Alison got pregnant, I knew the cliche “our lives will change forever” would be in full effect. And of course, our lives have absolutely changed forever; no question about it. But when Alison got pregnant, I also hoped our lives didn’t have to change too drastically. I mean, I knew things wouldn’t ever be the same because, of course, they could never be — we have a child now. Our attendance with Dodger games and theatre tickets definitely dropped off quickly, even just with Alison getting pregnant.

But Alison and I have still more or less managed to find a way to continue enjoying many of the things we loved about our life together before Madelyn joined it. While part of our ability to do this is due to the incredible appreciativeness we have for our parents living close and being willing to babysit often, we have also found that we really like bringing Madelyn with us everywhere we go, if we can. I mean, the best part is sharing all of these things with Madelyn, which of course is a bit difficult with a near 10-month old, but before long, she’ll be able to appreciate things with us too.

We obviously can’t keep up the same kinds of numbers we did before Madelyn, but we aren’t eliminating all of our formerly well-attended activities completely. Since 2011, we’ve still gone to the theatre 20+ times (admittedly, 80% of those times were during Alison’s pregnancy, but we have seen about four shows since she was born, with at least three more on our list for this year). We went on a couple of trips while Alison was pregnant, and we’ve been on three or four vacations with Madelyn already (she’s been to three states!). While we’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from our local community theatre, I’m sure we’ll return as soon as Madelyn is old enough to say “oh my goodness, oh my goodness!”

And finally, after nearly a year drought, we attended Dodger Stadium last night, with Madelyn in tow. Thanks to Madelyn’s Great (and great) Uncle Barry and Aunt Pattie, her first Dodger experience was in the Dugout Club. Which means she’s spoiled forever — the Loge will never work for her.

As you may know, taking Madelyn to a Dodger Game has long been a dream of mine. I even wrote about it before she was born. And of course, reading that old post now makes me laugh at the level of naivety it displays. I guess I thought my first game with Madelyn would be when she was two years old or something, and even then I now realize it will be something very different from how I had imagined it. Even so, though, it was thrilling to be at a game with her — for a couple of innings at least. I know she had basically no idea what was going on, but just being with her and seeing her eyes light up at all the new stuff she got to see, it totally made my daddy-instincts perk up and my parental heart melt.

I’m hoping somewhere deep down in her consciousness, she understood what I was saying to her about Vin Scully’s play-by-play, James Loney catching a fly ball, and A.J. Ellis’s incredible patience at the plate. I’m sure I didn’t understand that stuff when my dad and grandpa first explained it to me either, but hey, look at me know. There’s still hope for her.

Unfortunately, our rendition of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” quickly became “take me home from the ballgame because I’m seriously tired and I just want my crib already.” Of course, I wanted to stay because I always try to stay until the end of the game. But, I’ve already conceded that things can’t stay exactly the same as they always have been, and as it was, we extended Madelyn for eight innings sans nap at a particularly long baseball game (almost four hours by the end).

So we left after the 8th inning, game tied 3-3. And alas, instead of seeing it, we got to hear A.J. Ellis’s walk-off three run home run from the 5 freeway as called by Charley Steiner on the radio, with Madelyn already sleeping in her carseat by then. Just part of that whole parenthood thing I guess.

I’m sure we’ll take Madelyn to many more Dodger games before she’s old enough to appreciate them, but I can’t wait to see that look in her eye when she finally does, even if it’s just a little bit. And if we’re ever at the ballpark with her and the game is tied in the 8th inning, I can’t wait to see if she’ll beg to stay, just for one more inning, to see if the Dodgers win…

…hey, a dad can dream.

Before Alison and I got married, if you said the names Madelyn or Princeton to me, the first things that would have come to my mind would probably have been a French children’s literary character and an Avenue Q puppet. Now, though, when I hear those names, my heart basically melts. They are my family.

Tomorrow, May 25, 2012, Alison and I will celebrate our four-year anniversary. Four years. Married. It’s not a significant milestone year like our first anniversary, or even our fifth anniversary. It has its own sort of significance this year though — it’s one year longer than we were together before we got married, and that one year has been quite a difference.

Before Alison, I was never a husband. She made me a husband just by being my wife. But she has also made me into the husband (and the man) I am today by being a really great wife.

The day we got married was such a special day. It sounds so cliche when I read it back, but it was seriously such a special day. It laid the foundation for so many things we share today. For one thing, Princeton was “conceived” on our wedding day. I think the success of our big day directly led to Alison starting her business, The Wedding Yentas, if only so she could try to extend the great experience she had planning the events. We shared our passion for music and theatre with a target=”_blank”>choreographed first dance and my surprise heartfelt (but not so solid) piano/vocal performance of She’s Got A Way. And perhaps most significantly, Clayton Kershaw debuted for the Dodgers on that day, pitched six innings, gave up two earned runs, struck out seven, and the Dodgers won the game 4-3…only we didn’t get to see it because we were walking down the aisle.

The day after we were married, we embarked on our honeymoon to Hawaii, where we documented the [PG-rated portions of the] trip on my trusty [non-HD] video camera. It was our favorite vacation ever, so we had to make sure to preserve the memory as best we could. Of course, it’s been well-preserved alright…on my MacBook hard drive, where it has lived for quite a while as I’ve worked on editing the “Alison and Bryan: A Honeymoon Adventure” video on and off for the last four years, promising myself right before every anniversary that this will be the year I finish it…

…well, this will be the year I finish it. Not before our anniversary, unfortunately, but soon after undoubtedly. I guess I got inspired this year, as I’ve made more progress on it in the last two weeks than in the last two years. And maybe part of the reason for my surge in effort is that I feel like I have to check it off my list so I can move on to newer video projects with a different star at the center of them. I think you know who I’m talking about.

Before Madelyn, I was never a father. She made me a father just by being my daughter. Madelyn has helped to make this last year the most thrilling ride of our marriage since we took off on that plane to Maui four years ago. I can’t even imagine my life without her, or even without Princeton for that matter, and yet on that most special day four years ago, we were without them.

As I watched the many hours of honeymoon footage we took and edited it together, I often found myself wondering “Who are those people?” because we seem so different then. Younger. Skinnier. More naive. Less tired.

So here’s a tribute to us on our anniversary — the opening sequence of our soon-to-be-finished honeymoon video…a sequence I’ve had done for just about four years. It’s us, just Alison and Bryan, on our special day of the past without our special pieces of the present.